When Joseph was just a week old a little slip appeared through our letter box, announcing that our Health Visitor would be coming to see myself and Joseph at home the following week. I frowned in confusion. He wouldn't be home. Oh well, I thought, perhaps they mean just me. I thought about it some more and a couple of days before the visit rang to let them know that Joseph was born 13 weeks early and certainly would not be home at 2 weeks old. There was no answer, just a machine so I left a message.
I got a phone call about 30 minutes before the alotted visit, the Health Visitor wanted to know whether she should still visit. "Um yes! I have missed my hospital visit with Joseph to see you". The first thing she said when she arrived was "I know nothing about very early babies", so I asked for someone else, she said no one had much experience at all and I may as well stick with her.
Well, at least I wasn't disappointed. Once Joseph was finally discharged we had another visit, and then that was it. My only input was when I took Joseph to weigh ins. Like most mothers, I had times where I left weigh ins in tears. "What are you doing wrong? Why has Joseph only gained this much and not that much?" etc etc. I learnt to be thick skinned, and to make sure I went at a time when I could have a good moan with other mums afterwards.
Then, at 6 months actual we were asked to take Joseph for his 6 month development check. I rang and asked for it at 6 months corrected. They argued "oh we don't see much difference with premature babies" they said. "I'm sorry Joseph was 13 weeks early, he's going to fail if you do it now", I managed to win that one, he still failed at 9 months old, for not being able to sit.
With weaning, my Health Visitor had no idea, she wanted me to wait til 6 months corrected even though the expert literature advises weaning on actual not corrected age. It was just so confusing. I am actually still waiting for her to visit, she was going to come and help me with weaning and give me advice and support. I guess that ship has sailed!
And now, 2 and a half years on, it's happened again. I requested a 2 year development check, which is pretty standard, they are so busy they didn't do it until 2 and a half, just a few weeks ago. Again, he has failed, this time for walking, the Health Visitor was disappointed with his walking, his gait is not what she would expect in a 2 and a half year old. She said he needed appliances, exercises and basically implied I had been neglectful by not pusing harder earlier.
I just feel like banging my head in frustration. Joseph is not a normal 2 and a half year old. Well, he is a normal 2 and a half year old, he loves the Octonauts, Thomas the Tank Engine and dinosaurs. He loves to eat gingerbread and chicken nuggets and chips and couldn't give a hoot about vegetables. He throws tantrums, the next minute he hugs and kisses you, so yes he is a normal run of the mill toddler.
But Joseph was born at 27 weeks. He will have some delay, it's no surprise to me, and I don't think it should be to a Health Visitor. To put her mind at rest, I agreed to take Joseph for a follow up at orthotics yesterday.
And guess what, Joseph walks funny as he has only been walking 6 months, no action required.
Sigh.
I just feel disappointed. When Joseph came home I was terrified, I had no idea what I was doing, and was looking forward to the input of the Health Visitors, and have been very disappointed. The team want me to go fortnightly for weigh ins so that they can keep an eye on us, and really, I wonder whether I should just be non compliant and see what happens.
I'd love to hear your stories, especially positive ones!
I got a phone call about 30 minutes before the alotted visit, the Health Visitor wanted to know whether she should still visit. "Um yes! I have missed my hospital visit with Joseph to see you". The first thing she said when she arrived was "I know nothing about very early babies", so I asked for someone else, she said no one had much experience at all and I may as well stick with her.
Well, at least I wasn't disappointed. Once Joseph was finally discharged we had another visit, and then that was it. My only input was when I took Joseph to weigh ins. Like most mothers, I had times where I left weigh ins in tears. "What are you doing wrong? Why has Joseph only gained this much and not that much?" etc etc. I learnt to be thick skinned, and to make sure I went at a time when I could have a good moan with other mums afterwards.
Then, at 6 months actual we were asked to take Joseph for his 6 month development check. I rang and asked for it at 6 months corrected. They argued "oh we don't see much difference with premature babies" they said. "I'm sorry Joseph was 13 weeks early, he's going to fail if you do it now", I managed to win that one, he still failed at 9 months old, for not being able to sit.
With weaning, my Health Visitor had no idea, she wanted me to wait til 6 months corrected even though the expert literature advises weaning on actual not corrected age. It was just so confusing. I am actually still waiting for her to visit, she was going to come and help me with weaning and give me advice and support. I guess that ship has sailed!
And now, 2 and a half years on, it's happened again. I requested a 2 year development check, which is pretty standard, they are so busy they didn't do it until 2 and a half, just a few weeks ago. Again, he has failed, this time for walking, the Health Visitor was disappointed with his walking, his gait is not what she would expect in a 2 and a half year old. She said he needed appliances, exercises and basically implied I had been neglectful by not pusing harder earlier.
I just feel like banging my head in frustration. Joseph is not a normal 2 and a half year old. Well, he is a normal 2 and a half year old, he loves the Octonauts, Thomas the Tank Engine and dinosaurs. He loves to eat gingerbread and chicken nuggets and chips and couldn't give a hoot about vegetables. He throws tantrums, the next minute he hugs and kisses you, so yes he is a normal run of the mill toddler.
But Joseph was born at 27 weeks. He will have some delay, it's no surprise to me, and I don't think it should be to a Health Visitor. To put her mind at rest, I agreed to take Joseph for a follow up at orthotics yesterday.
And guess what, Joseph walks funny as he has only been walking 6 months, no action required.
Sigh.
I just feel disappointed. When Joseph came home I was terrified, I had no idea what I was doing, and was looking forward to the input of the Health Visitors, and have been very disappointed. The team want me to go fortnightly for weigh ins so that they can keep an eye on us, and really, I wonder whether I should just be non compliant and see what happens.
I'd love to hear your stories, especially positive ones!
