One evening whilst Joseph was in hospital I had fed him, winded him, and was snuggling him. He drifted off to sleep. A nurse, who looked 102, came in, waggled a finger at me, and said "don't do that, you must put your child to bed awake or a rod for your own back, you will surely make". I was a bit shocked. I'd never heard of such a thing, as far as I'm aware I was rocked to sleep. Surely once home we'd be breastfeeding to sleep?
But from that day on, I put Joseph to bed awake, as was standard practice on the unit. Nurses didn't have time to snuggle babies to sleep and I couldn't always be there. It all makes total sense, and is probably, aside from allowing mothers to sleep on the unit, as happens in some European NICU, the only solution.
When we got home, I had a ready made self settler. At times Joseph could be a little tricky to get to sleep, he'd be unhappy to be on his own, so I would lie across the foot of the bed and read whilst he fell asleep, and that was it. He'd be asleep within 20 minutes. We did often let Joseph nap on us during the day though. He was a very sleepy baby and often would just drop off whilst sitting on our knees.
Now, looking back, and with a better understanding of what's normal, I feel robbed. I never got to decide how I'd parent. I was given a Gina Ford, bottle fed, self settling baby! It wasn't what I expected, and really, not what I wanted. I guess I should be grateful, but I feel at times we missed out on special time together. I also feel, in a sense, less of a mummy because I didn't get that opportunity to rock him or cuddle him to sleep.
There is so much conflicting advice for parents about what to do, getting your baby to sleep. I have seen this article from Dr Sears linked a lot recently and wanted to share it with you, 31 ways to get your baby to sleep and stay asleep.
I really love this post shared by my friend Claire, it's beautiful, poignant, and still makes me a little sad that that was not my experience. But even for us bottle feeding mamas, the sentiment is true, those still hours of the night/early morning, just you and your baby.
I think it's so important to get to know your baby, what they like, what they dislike, and to be ready to change and develop with your baby. What works today may not work next week. Love and acceptance is so important, we can't make our babies follow a routine if that isn't what they want to do.
I'm not saying that Gina Ford is of the devil, and one shouldn't use sleep training techniques. I think as parents we need to find our stride, and do what works for our family.
Equally, those that rock, that snuggle and cuddle, aren't doing the wrong thing. Babies need closeness, some need movement, and that's ok too.
I just wish I had had the opportunity to choose my parenting style.
But from that day on, I put Joseph to bed awake, as was standard practice on the unit. Nurses didn't have time to snuggle babies to sleep and I couldn't always be there. It all makes total sense, and is probably, aside from allowing mothers to sleep on the unit, as happens in some European NICU, the only solution.
When we got home, I had a ready made self settler. At times Joseph could be a little tricky to get to sleep, he'd be unhappy to be on his own, so I would lie across the foot of the bed and read whilst he fell asleep, and that was it. He'd be asleep within 20 minutes. We did often let Joseph nap on us during the day though. He was a very sleepy baby and often would just drop off whilst sitting on our knees.
Now, looking back, and with a better understanding of what's normal, I feel robbed. I never got to decide how I'd parent. I was given a Gina Ford, bottle fed, self settling baby! It wasn't what I expected, and really, not what I wanted. I guess I should be grateful, but I feel at times we missed out on special time together. I also feel, in a sense, less of a mummy because I didn't get that opportunity to rock him or cuddle him to sleep.
There is so much conflicting advice for parents about what to do, getting your baby to sleep. I have seen this article from Dr Sears linked a lot recently and wanted to share it with you, 31 ways to get your baby to sleep and stay asleep.
I really love this post shared by my friend Claire, it's beautiful, poignant, and still makes me a little sad that that was not my experience. But even for us bottle feeding mamas, the sentiment is true, those still hours of the night/early morning, just you and your baby.
I think it's so important to get to know your baby, what they like, what they dislike, and to be ready to change and develop with your baby. What works today may not work next week. Love and acceptance is so important, we can't make our babies follow a routine if that isn't what they want to do.
I'm not saying that Gina Ford is of the devil, and one shouldn't use sleep training techniques. I think as parents we need to find our stride, and do what works for our family.
Equally, those that rock, that snuggle and cuddle, aren't doing the wrong thing. Babies need closeness, some need movement, and that's ok too.
I just wish I had had the opportunity to choose my parenting style.
