Losing a baby is an intensely personal thing. If you lose a child, an adult, then the whole community of that person comes to grieve, and to support. But when you lose a baby, the only people that really had a relationship with that person, are the immediate family. I think that's what makes it so isolating, other people, of course, can be caring and understanding, but the loss is your to bear and yours alone.
I have had two early losses, and when they happened I felt completely devastated and alone. It's weird to think that back then the internet wasn't as evolved as now, there was no Facebook, and whilst some people certainly were, in early forms, blogging, I was not. I found it very hard to speak to people in real life about what had happened to me.
Now, having had Joseph, I have met the most amazing families, with such devasating stories of loss, that just break my heart. Tonight, though a thought is given for my two little ones, my thoughts are with those who are grieving so intensely.
The Wave of Light is an opportunity for all of us to say "we care and we remember" It's a simple, virtually free act. I have had the same candles for 3 years, great big things that I light once a year, that I save for this day.
Now is also a good time to share some news that I received last week. I have been asked to speak at the Saying Goodbye service which will be held at Manchester Cathedral in March. I would love for any of you who are local to Manchester to attend and stand with us, as we commemorate and remember the special little lives that have touched us so much. I have no idea how I am going to speak without sobbing, but I have decided that that's ok, if I stand up there and cry, everyone else will be crying with me.
I would just like to say, for those lighting candles tonight, thank you.