Monday, 6 May 2013

The Premmie Game - Part 1

And so it begins.

This time four years ago.


It was a warm and sunny May day, just like today. I felt revolting. Just 26 + 5 days pregnant and already on daily monitoring, my morning visit with the midwife went well, but by afternoon I was laid low, feeling utterly awful. I just didn't feel like me. It was a weird sensation. I napped, and felt worse. I took paracetamol and it did nothing. I had a shower, and that didn't clear the strange feeling. As the afternoon turned to evening, I felt worse. I couldn't put my finger on it.

I read my favourite pregnancy book "The Rough Guide to Pregnancy and Birth" which reassured me that should my baby be born at 27 weeks they would have a very good chance of survival. But surely no one would be delivering my baby this early, would they? I still had a third trimester to go. 27 weeks would mean months of special care, stress, worry, separation. I could never be that strong. I couldn't manage months and months of a hospital owning our family.

Then it started. The headache. It wasn't the worst headache I have ever had, but it was strange. Just in my right frontal lobe. It wouldn't move. The most amazing pressure like feeling in my head that just got a little worse each hour.

Could this be the pre eclampsia headache that doctors and midwives had warned me about? Surely not. Surely pre eclampsia wouldn't strike til 34 weeks. At 26+5 this looked an extremely long way away, let alone dreams of term.

By 3am I decided that I really needed to go to the delivery suite. I thought I was just being a bit neurotic. My husband drove me there, having grabbed my already packed hospital bag. As an afterthought I put in a toy for an incubator and a photograph of us to put inside his incubator. Just to put aside for when I reached closer to term, for now I would start 6 weeks of hospital bed rest to get to 32 weeks or so then they'd deliver my baby.

Wouldn't they?

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