tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2098377761995034171.post6845572494094022604..comments2023-11-03T09:15:22.062+00:00Comments on Not Even a Bag of Sugar: The Things That ScarKykareehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00316100979546486127noreply@blogger.comBlogger10125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2098377761995034171.post-90786226646862893102012-07-31T06:01:27.373+01:002012-07-31T06:01:27.373+01:00Hi – It’s good to read such interesting stuff on t...Hi – It’s good to read such interesting stuff on the Internet as I have been able to discover here. I agree with much of what is written here and I’ll be coming back to this website again. Thanks again for posting such great reading material!!<br /><br /> http://www.scarprin.com/http://www.scarprin.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2098377761995034171.post-36098508877719484892012-03-29T22:19:02.765+01:002012-03-29T22:19:02.765+01:00Daisy is head to toe in scars I wish could take th...Daisy is head to toe in scars I wish could take them all away, I found a huge one the otherday on her ankle a one I hav enever noticed before, I often wonder when I will have found them all. The other thing I often think about and say to our family who think all it should all be forgotten about is although I have no physical scars the emotional ones run very deep and I wonder how long it takes these to fade.... Its three years in August but I still cry hysterically watching the perfect water birth on OBEM. Time will tell. Excellent blog though it was like reading my own mind xxxxLaylawelshnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2098377761995034171.post-18440126708208868072012-03-29T20:50:13.990+01:002012-03-29T20:50:13.990+01:00Don't feel bad mentioning the scars. You don&#...Don't feel bad mentioning the scars. You don't want your wee one standing out and being labelled,it is hard work explaining to strangers - until her NG tube went last month I was always explaining. Just saying she was born early and had trouble feeding was sometimes not enough for randoms on the bus.... <br />No more children was a joint choice for us,the consultant said she would hope to get me to 30 weeks and no chance of a termie. I don't think hubby has that same ache about not<br /> having another baby although I am positive I couldn't do it again.Sam wallacenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2098377761995034171.post-3018716281246728922012-03-29T18:59:12.114+01:002012-03-29T18:59:12.114+01:00Oh Michelle I am sorry you are still having proble...Oh Michelle I am sorry you are still having problems. Are people that stupid? I guess maybe they are. I think its important that everyone has an understanding of where our babies have come from and what they have gone through. Good for you leaving the picture for them.Kylie Hodgeshttp://notevena.blogspot.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2098377761995034171.post-13678497253416164342012-03-29T18:58:02.043+01:002012-03-29T18:58:02.043+01:00Thanks for your thoughts Samantha. I feel bad even...Thanks for your thoughts Samantha. I feel bad even mentioning the scars, Joseph managed to avoid stoma surgery, and the scars left after that can be quite big. People can be thoughtless too. <br /><br />The decision not to have more is a hard one, but in our case it was very much a joint one, we just could not do that again, and I have an 80% chance of recurrence. I'm getting used to the idea. I'd only have another if someone could guarantee me a fat termie!<br /><br />It never ceases to amaze me how people cannot empathise. I know that its hard to appreciate if you've never had a premature or sick baby, but surely people can see how hard it is.Kylie Hodgeshttp://notevena.blogspot.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2098377761995034171.post-44506499062902145002012-03-29T18:55:27.422+01:002012-03-29T18:55:27.422+01:00Thank you for your reply. I think now it's wei...Thank you for your reply. I think now it's weird. I'm not sure what it's like for you but in Josephs first 18 months the pain and the trauma were there all the time, and that was kinda manageable, because I'd wake up and know I'd feel awful. <br /><br />Now nearly 3 years on I am fine most of the time and then it blindsides me, and I feel sad, guilty and jealous all over again!<br /><br />I just want to be better now! But I guess trauma isn't like that, it becomes part of that.<br /><br />Thank you again, I am so glad you dropped by.Kylie Hodgeshttp://notevena.blogspot.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2098377761995034171.post-72705903404474718432012-03-29T18:44:21.293+01:002012-03-29T18:44:21.293+01:00As you know Kylie, I really can relate to this. E...As you know Kylie, I really can relate to this. Even though Adam was not premature, the fact that a perfectly healthy pregnancy was followed by a Group B Strep with Meningitis infection, weeks in neonatal and so many losses doesn't go away. That's why I still blog, sure it's partially to update friends and family on how things are going with Adam, but it's also therapy. There are many losses in my mind because of my experience, I desperately wanted (and intended) to breastfeed Adam but he was at first too ill and then simply unable to learn how - his entire experience had been "I'm hungry...oh, now I'm full" as milk was poured down his feeding tube. It was a struggle for him to learn to feed from a bottle, never mind the harder work to feed from my breast. I didn't have the "innocent" bonding time, just sitting watching an incubator and waiting to know if he would live or die. <br /><br />I would love to have another child, but despite the precautions that I know would be taken, I'm terrified of repeating the experience - even just having another child in neonatal for monitoring even if they were healthy would be so hard. The memory doesn't go away and the fear stays for a long time, but as you said to me (wisely) earlier this week when I wrote a similar post, with time the pain gets slightly less, it becomes possible to cope and eventually the times of joy start to outweigh the painful memories. It never goes away but hopefully, becomes more manageable. Keep on loving Joseph and keep him as safe as you are able and he will be a very fortunate boy. <br /><br />Charlotte<br />www.walkingforadam.blogspot.comcharlotte.cheshirenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2098377761995034171.post-81917491305483632222012-03-29T13:43:29.088+01:002012-03-29T13:43:29.088+01:00What a great post, so personal. I agree with almos...What a great post, so personal. I agree with almost all of it, I still hate being away from Gemma although she is nearly 2. I need to be away with work for 3 nights in May and am dreading it.<br /><br />If you haven't been through it I think it is difficult for people to understand why you won't have another baby. Its not that you don't want one (it aches that I will never have a newborn baby of my own to cuddle straight away) but you can't risk the same happening. I don't think it would be fair on Gemma, a new baby or our relationship and we need to learn to deal with that. Answering peoples questions about it is not easy especially as all they see is a cheeky wee toddler who is "fine now"!<br /><br />Gemma has her scar from her stoma and it is hidden most of the time and I tend to forget about it until someone mentions it if I am changing her nappy etc. Luckily most of her IV line scars are just small white dots.Samantha Wallacenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2098377761995034171.post-43667856827777438792012-03-29T08:36:17.972+01:002012-03-29T08:36:17.972+01:00Im so glad im not alowne in theese feelings, just ...Im so glad im not alowne in theese feelings, just in the last 3 months these feeling of not being able to protect my elder son (born 26 weeks early due to PM and HELLP) have reseviced with an insident at school, my son has now been but in the Child in need program, The school dont seem to understand mt feelings so when i took in some info in a file i "accedently" left a picture of my son at 24 hours old with all the help he had vent lines etc, know i think kind of the have a tiny understanding they never will unless the go throw it themselves. As always a good articalMichellethemonicanoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2098377761995034171.post-79935770343040863242012-03-29T08:15:13.585+01:002012-03-29T08:15:13.585+01:00I know exactly how you feel kylie. Marcus has so m...I know exactly how you feel kylie. Marcus has so many scars and I always get people asking about them. I am so scared about him going to school and not coping. I think a lot of preemie mind will relate so much to this post. I would love another baby, but I am so scared of it happening again.nicholanoreply@blogger.com