I know a lot of my readers are mothers and fathers of premature babies. A lot of us seek and give support online. It makes sense. All though prematurity is not uncommon, it is uncommon enough that we are all spread out through the country. Some of us have children who are poorly and can't mix with other children, although some areas have fantastic, strong support groups, not all areas of the country, and indeed the world, have these sources of support.
My friend Mummy Beadzoid (Christina) wrote this lovely piece about a facebook group, that I am a member of, and love very much. This week something happened, so sad and shocking, and I won't go into explicit detail, only to say that a "member" who had been sharing the journey of her little girl, had made the group aware her baby had died. Only, as it transpired, this woman did not have a baby, and had used photographs that were on a blog, not dissimilar to my own.
Now when I started sharing photographs of Joseph on line, and on the blog, I was a little worried about privacy, future embarrassment, and paedophiles. The fact that someone might poach my photos and pose as the mother of a premature baby in order to get sympathy, or to play out some strange fantasy, never entered my head.
I have no idea of the motivation of this woman (and lets face it, we don't know if she's a woman, she could be anyone). I assume its the symptom of a much deeper problem, and she clearly needs some help.
For those of us who support others, and receive support online, it's deeply shocking, and deeply upsetting that our trust can be breached so deeply. That someone can do this with such little thought of those they are betraying, and, indeed, the family of the little baby who's photographs were used to perpetuate this set of lies.
I have my blog, and my photographs, out in the world in good faith. This episode has upset me so much, and I felt that I wanted, in fact needed, to blog, as a warning to all of us in premature baby, and babyloss circles. Not everyone is "on the level". We need to have our "bullshit radar" about us before sharing our innermost thoughts, and certainly before giving any financial help (I am not aware that this person is trying it on, however have heard of other cases where money has been obtained fraudulently).
My heart goes out to the owner of this group. Danielle is a kind, warm, giving person, who has struggled after the birth of her daughter, and gives of her time and her experience freely without question. She has a group of administrators around her who are just the same, warm, open, giving people.
I'm not going to remove my photographs, and I'm not going to dwell on it. I am not going to stop supporting others on line, or close myself off, as I feel that way, these "pretenders" have been victorious.
I post this as a cautionary tale, and in support of the wonderful work Danielle has done, creating and nurturing this strong, caring group.
UVQ6S2XRDW95
My friend Mummy Beadzoid (Christina) wrote this lovely piece about a facebook group, that I am a member of, and love very much. This week something happened, so sad and shocking, and I won't go into explicit detail, only to say that a "member" who had been sharing the journey of her little girl, had made the group aware her baby had died. Only, as it transpired, this woman did not have a baby, and had used photographs that were on a blog, not dissimilar to my own.
Now when I started sharing photographs of Joseph on line, and on the blog, I was a little worried about privacy, future embarrassment, and paedophiles. The fact that someone might poach my photos and pose as the mother of a premature baby in order to get sympathy, or to play out some strange fantasy, never entered my head.
I have no idea of the motivation of this woman (and lets face it, we don't know if she's a woman, she could be anyone). I assume its the symptom of a much deeper problem, and she clearly needs some help.
For those of us who support others, and receive support online, it's deeply shocking, and deeply upsetting that our trust can be breached so deeply. That someone can do this with such little thought of those they are betraying, and, indeed, the family of the little baby who's photographs were used to perpetuate this set of lies.
I have my blog, and my photographs, out in the world in good faith. This episode has upset me so much, and I felt that I wanted, in fact needed, to blog, as a warning to all of us in premature baby, and babyloss circles. Not everyone is "on the level". We need to have our "bullshit radar" about us before sharing our innermost thoughts, and certainly before giving any financial help (I am not aware that this person is trying it on, however have heard of other cases where money has been obtained fraudulently).
My heart goes out to the owner of this group. Danielle is a kind, warm, giving person, who has struggled after the birth of her daughter, and gives of her time and her experience freely without question. She has a group of administrators around her who are just the same, warm, open, giving people.
I'm not going to remove my photographs, and I'm not going to dwell on it. I am not going to stop supporting others on line, or close myself off, as I feel that way, these "pretenders" have been victorious.
I post this as a cautionary tale, and in support of the wonderful work Danielle has done, creating and nurturing this strong, caring group.
UVQ6S2XRDW95