The day Joseph was born was so strange, he was born at 10am, I didn't see him, and then he was just taken away. I went back to the delivery suite where I'd been the night before, and was put back on monitoring. I had someone with me at all times. But not my baby.
I think, looking back, I was surprisingly calm. I remember being a bit sad at one point, and tears slipping down my cheeks and one of the doctors comforting me, but I just lay in bed, with my husband popping in and out as he went to see his son. A son.
One of my regular doctors came on shift at 9pm. She gathered me in a hug and said "congratulations". I think it was the first time it had been said. I just blinked. I didn't feel congratulations were at all in order. I'd failed. I had failed in my primary duty of care, to keep my baby safe inside for 9 months. Congratulations? I didn't even know if I'd take my baby home at that point, it seemed a bit, well odd.
But in days to come, I longed for people to congratulate me. And it started happening, slowly but surely, as people got more confident, and Joseph got bigger.
I did a quick straw poll on Facebook last night. I asked: "A question for mums of premature or poorly babies. When you had your baby did you want people to say "congratul
Of those who responded the vast majority said "yes", only 2 said a direct no, and only 1 said "later".
So, I think its safe to assume, that with a new baby, regardless of gestation, it is best to say "congratulations". I'd be interested to hear other people's thoughts on this.