Tuesday, 28 January 2014

10 Things Matilda Mae Taught Me

This week our hearts are full of sorrow as we remember the week Matilda Mae died. Matilda Mae has left a huge legacy and here are 10 things she has taught me.

1. Never miss an opportunity for a cuddle. I met Matilda Mae, she was snuggled with her mummy at Britmums. I didn't want to intrude, smiled a hello and kept walking. I am often reticent with babies for a number of reasons, Matilda Mae taught me to make every opportunity to have a snuggle when there is one to be had.

2. Never make assumptions about a baby. We always assume our premature babies are particularly vulnerable. Whilst this is true to an extent any baby is a vulnerable little person.

3. The blogging community isn't really about rankings, or SEO or sponsored posts. It is a community tied together with love. And when things go wrong amazing things happen.

4. There is no right way to grieve. In our culture public grieving isn't necessarily something that is accepted, and sometimes it's hard to know what to say or do. Respecting each other's coping methods and way of grieving is essential.

5. Money makes the charity world go round. Charity is about love, passion, and commitment to a mission. It's also about money. To do great things requires money.

6. Raising money for charity can often give a purpose. To see the love and awareness for Lullaby Trust increasing so much since Matilda Mae's passing is an amazing thing.

7. Witnessing a baby dying, even from over the internet, can bring up your own unresolved grief, and that of others.

8. Sometimes grief makes people forget the feelings of others and behave in a way that is less than kind.

9. Music is powerful. Whenever I feel sad for Matilda and overwhelmed, as sadly in my work I learn of the loss of babies every week, I put on Starlight by Muse very loudly and it makes me feel better. And keeps me focussed.

10. The loss of a baby can remind you of the power of friendship. Seeing the friendship develop between Ghostwritermummy and Jennie has been amazing. Also because of Matilda Mae I have developed a lovely friendship with the beautiful Michelle from the Crowther Clan.

Look what love has done.

Monday, 27 January 2014

Letters for Matilda Mae

Dear Matilda Mae

Once upon a time there was the most beautiful mummy in the land. She was slim, pretty, kind, generous, loving, intelligent and strong. She had the most beautiful twins, and that's how I met her when they were still in hospital. She started writing their story.

One day this beautiful lady told me she was pregnant again, and it was all her and her husband (your daddy's) own work. You were their miracle baby. And I was so happy for her, full of joy.

And you were born, and your life was blogged day by day, we got to learn about your cheekiness, happiness, and how much love was injected in your heart. I even got to meet you, only briefly, at Britmums. I wanted a cuddle but you were surrounded by people. "Next time" I thought.

Life was busy, and I kept in touch with your progress on your mummy's blog. Then one day came the most unbelievable news. You had died. You just died. That tiny heart full of love, full of live, that smile that shone over the internet to us all had all just gone.

And none of us knew what to do, but we did what your mummy asked. We loved you, we celebrated you, we raised money for you. We work hard to make your heart live forever.

You, Matilda Mae, were a very special baby.

You will live forever and never ever be forgotten.

I love you Matilda Mae.


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