|Image courtesy of Simon_sees Flickr.com
With summer holidays fast approaching I thought I'd share some of Joseph's top tips for travel.
1. Make sure your grown up packs your comforter in their carry on luggage. Make sure you imprint on them just how important it is that they don't forget it, and they are aware of how important it is that they realise their life is over if it is lost.
2. Ensure your grown up has lots of snacks packed for you. Make sure that they are not all completely healthy, travelling is tiring work, and something a bit naughty can make the time seem shorter. It's ok if they pack something naughty for themselves too.
3. Toys are good, not too noisy. It's ok to pack something that we don't normally like. I never ever play with boring crayons or sticker books at home, but on a plane, well that's a different story! Even I don't know why, I just do - ok?
4. I love tv, as much as the next toddler, but I don't like tv on the plane, its too hard to watch because you have to wear stupid earphones, and the stupid screens are too small, and I can't follow it easily. It just makes me whinge. Mummy doesn't even bother getting the screen up anymore. I'd rather suck my blankie and eat chocolate.
5. Mummy always tries to book our long flights so they start at night. Somehow, it feels better, to be a bit sleepy, in my jammies, with my sleeping bag all ready to jump into, and blankie ready to suck. I haven't had a bottle in nearly a year, but I like them on the plane. It makes me feel all snuggly and sleepy.....zzzzzzzzz
6. Mummy was really smart and booked a bassinette on the plane, I was under 11 kilos, which is the weight limit, but what the naughty airline didn't tell her, is that use of the bassinettte depends on the crew. We had three changes of crew on the way to Australia, 2 crews were fine with me having a nice cot, one wasn't. Mum was grumpy but she said she would have been less grumpy if she'd been warned.
7. If you going to be on your mummy or daddy's lap the whole way, make sure your grown up orders an appropriate meal. Sometimes the airline thinks if your on a lap, you'll be a cute little dinky dot who just drinks bottles and eats mush in jars. You can order a children's meal and they are really yummy.
8. Airports are weird. Another thing that made mummy grumpy was they all had different rules. Sometimes the same airport would change rules in the space of a few weeks. I went in the sling through airports and in most I could stay in, but in some I had to jump out to go through security. At the time I couldn't walk so it was a bit of a pain. Manchester was the best, because, of course, I look like a rock star, I was allowed through the VIP queue, I let mum come with me. I was treated like royalty with my own staff to help my roadie, oh I mean mum, with my bags.
9. Mummy says if you are going through Australian customs always to declare something. She reckons it gets you through quarantine and customs quicker, they very rarely open your luggage, they just look deep into your eyes to see if your telling the truth. Its kinda cool.
10. Mummy says not to rush once your through security and on the other side. Because of the huge amounts of people going through the airport when we arrived in melbourne, we missed our connecting transportation to the outskirts of Melbourne. So we had to sit and have an apple juice and a sausage roll. It was the best spent $17 ever, although I think that made mum grumpy too, but I felt human again, and ready to face our next leg when I had had a big rest.
11. Mummy also says to make sure you pack extra nappies and clothes in your carry on luggage, and even a change for the mummy. Travelling on planes is messy, the air pressure can do funny things to your bottom (mummy made me write that bit!), and also the airline insists on giving messy food to toddlers, which gets all over the toddler and the mummy, so its nice to be able to freshen up.
12. I noticed that my mum smiled a lot, even when I had the odd tantrum (a toddler has to keep their mum on their toes, otherwise they get complacent), its really hard to have a prolonged tantrum when your mum is really calm and grinning like a loon.
13. Oh if you are travelling with just your mummy grown up and your missing your daddy, apparently, its not good practice to call all men daddy. Even if they are called Father. And wearing black with a weird collar thing. Mum went a very strange shade of red. I'm not sure she's recovered. Father O'Reilly thought it was very funny, not sure why.