Wednesday 24 August 2011

The Getting of Wisdom

Like many of you I have discovered Pinterest, and I love it. I am addicted. I started using to get ideas for decorating our home, and for making gifts, and also collating the cool stuff I see for Joseph from time to time. What I love is the sharing, meeting new people and sharing ideas in an immediate way, it’s dynamic, real time, and exciting. 

In my youth, I became a Christian. One of the things I loved the most, was reading The Bible (other inspirational, spiritual manuals are available) and really feeling the power of the words. Words are powerful, and well chosen words can make you think, and give you inspiration and peace.

One of the things shared by a friend on her board (I call people I interact with friends, but shamefully I can’t remember who actually shared this, as this is what Pinterest is like, a continual flow of pictures, thoughts and ideas), was this amazing poster.

And it really made me think. Earlier last week I was sharing on one of my forums with a friend who is going through a tough time. She said “Kylie how did you get to be so wise?” A few days later I saw this poster, and it felt like one of Oprah’s lightbulb moments.

Then I got to thinking. Yes you get wisdom through pain. I get that. But the concept of wisdom being “healed pain”, does that really fit me? You see, up until that moment, I felt anything but healed. I still cry for the babies I will never hold, for the sibling that Joseph will never have. I still feel angry that doctors ignored my concerns and patronised me. I still feel bitter that I had to have my baby cut from me, and put in a box. I still feel upset that I wasn’t the first person to hold him, to touch him. Have I really healed then? And if I haven’t healed then how can I be called wise? (or is that poster just some random thought on the internet and holds no truth anyway?)

Then I thought further. What is healing? What does it mean? I found a lovely definition of healing : the act or process in which the normal structural and functional characteristics of health are restored to diseased, dysfunctional, or damaged tissues, organs, or systems of the body

I like to think of the injury I have, the injury to my spirit, psyche and mental health as a result of what has happened, as being like a serious physical injury. So say, for example you have broken a weight bearing joint like hip or a knee. Over time the bone mends, you can walk again. At times it might catch and hurt, so you take some pain killers. At times the pain killers might be enough and you can carry on walking. At other times the pain killers might not be enough and you might need  some physiotherapy, or return to the doctor for further advice.  However, the overall picture is that you have healed from your original injury, but still have some residual issues, that you need help with from time to time.

So, that’s where I am at. I am healed. I have learnt from my experiences, and I have a degree of wisdom and insight about what happened to me, so that I can help others. But that doesn’t mean, from time to time, I don’t need a little help.


  1. It most certainly doesn't. We all need help from time to time, it's human nature. Such traumatic experiences never leave us even if we are able to block them out of our minds.

    CJ xx

  2. Further proof that you are very wise :-)
    You have so eloquently written what I have felt- that the pain Mr A and I have been through won't ever leave us, but that that pain will help us to grow and to understand, and more than that, to empathise with others.
    Thank you for another wonderful post. xxxxxx

  3. I think it's true to say we gain wisdom though all our life experiences and we're never fully wise - it' an ongoing process that builds all the time. You are helping all of us become that little bit wiser each time you share your experiences,thoughts and insight. Keep 'em coming!