Saturday 3 December 2011

My Ten Parenting Rules*

1. Do not overthink children's television. Your toddler does not care than Makka Pakka only comes up to Upsy Daisy's knee, that the Ninky Nonk and Pinky Ponk appear to have no driver or pilot, that the Tomliboos door is far too small for the house, so why should you? No good can come of rationalising In The Night Garden.

2. There is a time for chocolate buttons. Whilst I am not advocating bribing toddlers with chocolate on a regular basis, to get one to sit still long enough for a haircut, or to encourage the taking of medicine, sometimes a mama gotta do what a mama gotta do.

3. There is a time for children's television. It's carefully designed, it's on all day, and on a wet, miserable day, there's only so much play dough and drawing a child can do.

4. Indoor play areas are a necessary evil in Britian. Don't go looking for dirt, or worry about the food choices, lighen up!

5. Think really hard before you criticise another parent, who is just doing the best they can.

6. Toddlerhood is incredibly traumatic, that's why people are so judgemental in supermarkets - they have completely forgotten that they once own a toddler terrorist too, Post Toddler Amnesia. They fantasise that "back in their day" their daughters wore crinoline frocks, their sons wore sailor suits, and they were perfectly behaved treasures. They are wrong. Don't take it on board.

7. Nothing is as difficult as you may imagine, I've done long plane trips and train trips, and the thought is always worse than the reality.

8. You can fight the food fads or you can just accept that the only fish you will be getting inside your toddler is in the shape of a finger. And that's ok.

9. A child cannot be ruined by too many cuddles, kisses or stories, its a lack of these things that ruin a child.

10. It's ok to ask for help, to have time out, to admit that sometimes you are not coping. Support is there, sometimes from the unlikeliest of sources.


  1. Very true yet entertaining advise! well done! x

  2. I love it. I do not love in the night garden. my daughter would prefer to watch sabrina the teenage witch (on at the same time. not a kids show but harmless) because my husband says "do you want to watch the talking kitty cat?" Which of course she goes "miaow miaow" which he figures means yes. we have kids tv on quite often during the day though.