Wednesday, 2 May 2012

Milestones and Millstones

Yesterday on the Britmums facebook page there was a suggestion that we blog about milestones. I am very passionate about this topic! 

When Joseph was about to be discharged from hospital, one of the nurses said, almost as a throwaway line "don't worry too much about milestones and just add a few months to what the Health Visitor expects Joseph to be doing" I had no idea how much I would hang on to those words.

For any new mum, a baby comes with its own anxieties. "Should they be doing this by now?". For the mum of a premature baby this is amplified many times over. In our case Joseph was very slow to hit his milestones even taking into account his corrected age, that is from when he should have been born, not his actual birthdate.

I would try not to worry, but often I'd fail miserably. Should he be rolling over by now? Sitting? Crawling? I slowly realised that Joseph was on his own timetable. Joseph didn't sit until 12 months actual age, crawling came much later, and walking later still. I learnt not to look at charts, or to pay much attention to the health visitor.

What I quickly established was that Joseph would not practice anything. This is him lifting his head for one of the first times, and see he is right up on his hand! But crawling was another 6 months away, even though he looks like he's about to take off!

What was really interesting is that with speech he's been pretty much at actual age with little delay, ok, on the just acceptable side of actual but that's ok! I have had a number of heated discussions with consultants and health visitors concerned about sitting, weightbearing and walking. It's been hard at times to just relax and believe in Joseph.

I think its very easy to get caught up in milestones and worry, but sometimes you just need to take a step back and enjoy the moment!

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Today I have posted over on Wriggly Rascals about my experience bringing my premature baby home.I am sure regular readers will be aware that I really struggled at first when we came home and it took a long time for me to "get into my stride" as a mum.  I know a lot of you will have experience of this. Pop on over and help a mother who is struggling at the moment.

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In my news update last week I shared about little Luna Bliss, the daughter of Inspiral Carpets' Clint Boon . His son Hector has had all his hair cut off to raise money for the Royal Manchester Children's Hospital. He has raised over £11 000 so far. If you want to support Hector you can do so here.

Angel Faces Outer Sparkle, based in Bury, are selling beautiful handcrafted necklaces with all proceeds going to Hector's fund. I have just received mine and it's beautiful!I won't tell you the price, but you will be pleasantly surprised.


9 comments:

  1. Really good advice about trying to remain laid back about milestones. Although I do wish I had been a bit less laid back at times, I still blame myself for my daughter's hypermobility only just being picked up at 22 months. I just thought she was a "late walker" as she was with all her other physical development!

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  2. Ah I'm working on a post on Mother's Instinct to go alongside this. I think though what you need to ask yourself is "would the treatment plan had been any different had I known" and I would argue that it probably wouldn't. They may have started intensive physio earlier but they may not have done. Don't beat yourself up about it, you know now and you are working on it.

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  3. Joseph is adorable-what a handsome chap and you are so right that everyone needs to chill out about milestones, kids will get there in their time. Great advice x

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  4. I'd say throw all the baby books out of the window. Prem babies come out with a bag full of attitude and strong determination. They do things their way, when they are ready and not before!

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  5. I use to tell my health visitor numeras times that my Son(s) has not read the baby mannuel like you (i did not bother) have so he does not know what to do and when accoeding to THE BOOK! and akter saying this 20+ times she was not as well he shud be doing this, altho she did say i think he should be talking bay now at 2 and 1/2 so im refering to SALT

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  6. Brilliant post as always.

    Just ordered a necklace too :) x

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  7. Thanks SO much for your great post on wrigglyrascals.com, we hope all of our mums love reading your blog, thanks so much, Shona xx

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