Imagine the scene, you are 27 weeks pregnant, your at work, and your feeling a bit weird, what started as tightenings are now quite severe pains, and they are regular. No, surely not, it couldn't possibly be contractions? Not now? It's too soon.
You decide to go to hospital to be checked over. Your husband has dropped everything and is by your side. One doctor comes in, followed by another, your cervix is checked. You are 7 centimetres dilated. There is nothing they can do, your baby is going to arrive......soon.
Behind the scenes, staff start making calls. They call downstairs. The special care baby unit is full. They call the next hospital "sorry we can't manage babies under 30 weeks". The phone calls continue, and finally someone comes to see you. "I am sorry, there is no accommodation in the local area, we have an ambulance on the way, you are to be transferred to Manchester". You panic, 3 hours drive away. The ambulance arrives and you leave, in labour.
All is well, the baby is stabilised, and progresses well. You live in the local Ronald Macdonald House, your husband has faced the agonising decision and has decided to go back to work. You see him at weekends, he goes all week without seeing the baby. The bills are too high for him to even consider taking unpaid leave.
After 4 weeks the baby is stable enough to return to a local unit, and again the phonecalls start to try and find a cot closer to home. There are days of waiting, of disappointment, and then finally the call comes.
The above scenario has happened to more people than I would care to name. Sometimes transfers are required for medical reasons, the baby has needs that can't be met locally. More often there is just no room at the inn, and the unit is at capacity. I'm not a doctor, or an administrator. I have no idea what the answer is, and I doubt that the need for transfers could every be elminated. But its heartbreaking. Imagine in that scenario if there were older siblings? What if the mum had triplets and the babies had to be split? It happens, it really does, that babies cannot be moved together and are in seperate hospitals.
In our case, we weren't transferred. I can't tell you how grateful I am that our local hospital pulled out all stops to accommodate us. I do know that decision meant that other babies had to be transferred to other hospitals.
What is known is that units are understaffed, there is a shortage of neonatal nurses. If this need could be met, more units could run at capacity and prevent some of these transfers. I hope there is an answer, and a response to this problem.
Tuesday, 2 November 2010
Too Tight to Mention
Having a baby puts a financial strain on any couple. In the UK we are lucky to have Statutory Maternity Pay. In normal course of events you can choose when you start maternity leave, when you commence this you have 6 weeks at 90% of your salary, the remaining 33 weeks are a fixed rate of £124.88.
However, if you have your baby prematurely, maternity leave commences as soon as your baby is born. So, in my case, I was planning to start maternity leave 4 weeks before my Estimated Due Date, but instead, had to commence it two months early. That's a lot of money to lose through no fault of your own.
In addition to the maternity leave kicking in, there is the problem of paternity leave. In the UK fathers are entitled to 2 weeks paternity leave (at a similar rate to the SMP). Now once the baby is born prematurely, there is a problem, because do you want to use your paternity leave to support the mother of the baby and visit the baby in hospital, or do you want to keep hold of this until the baby comes home?
Now if losing out through maternity pay isn't enough, there is a whole new set of financial problems when your baby is in special care.
In its Baby Report that I have talked about in my previous post, Bliss have produced an estimate of additional costs when a baby is in special care.
And I know it sees so trivial in the grand scheme of things but items for small babies are dearer than for normal ones. The micronappies we had to provide never go on offer. Only Pampers appear to make them. I was told Tesco do them, but our local Tesco (which is a big one) refused to stock them, the nearerst stockist was 15 miles away! And whilst I agree with the principal that the baby is yours and you should be responsible for its expenses, at a time when money is tight, buying nappies for a baby who shouldn't even be born yet, is just another added expense and more money to find, and another reminder that the situation in which you find yourself is not normal.
I really struggled with meals. I didn't want to spend money on hospital food, but we didn't even have access to a fridge to put sandwiches in (and it was high summer when Joseph was on the unit) The cafeteria was busy, and expensive. Despite just about being staff members, we weren't eligible for discounted meals, a 20% discount would have helped enormously. I tried to cut lunches and take them in but it wasn't always easy, I was expressing, travelling nearly an hour each way, and recovering from a c-section. Sometimes it just didn't feel there were enough hours in the day.
I had to catch buses to the hospital. Our hospital provides free parking for long stay patients, but there is no help with public transport. A 28 day pass cost £60. Joseph was in for 76 days, albeit for 10 of these in total I was in hospital with him. My husband was not permitted time off work, when I was criticially ill in hospital and Joseph was suffering from NEC and very poor indeed, my husband had to use annual leave for a week, then return to work, leaving me to find my way to and from hospital on my own. I don't drive, but even if I had been able to drive, our insurance wouldn't have permitted me to until six weeks post c-section.
It was a very hard time for us, and we were incredibly lucky, due to my job and my husband's job we had private health insurance, and we got a rebate for having to be accommodated in an NHS hospital as there was no private facilities available in our area. So all the costs we laid out were covered by this payment, albeit some months after discharge, however we were fine.
But most families do not have this sort of insurance, and in fact no one in my unit had heard of NHS cash benefit.
I am not sure what the answer is, but I do think the system of SMP starting once a baby is born is unfair. I do think if this is the case, their should be some financial provision for parents in this situation. I have heard some terrible stories of families who have lost their homes, or had County Court Judgements, and are still picking up the pieces years afterwards.
Tomorrow I will talk more about support for families and the sort of strain families are under in these circumstances.
However, if you have your baby prematurely, maternity leave commences as soon as your baby is born. So, in my case, I was planning to start maternity leave 4 weeks before my Estimated Due Date, but instead, had to commence it two months early. That's a lot of money to lose through no fault of your own.
In addition to the maternity leave kicking in, there is the problem of paternity leave. In the UK fathers are entitled to 2 weeks paternity leave (at a similar rate to the SMP). Now once the baby is born prematurely, there is a problem, because do you want to use your paternity leave to support the mother of the baby and visit the baby in hospital, or do you want to keep hold of this until the baby comes home?
Now if losing out through maternity pay isn't enough, there is a whole new set of financial problems when your baby is in special care.
In its Baby Report that I have talked about in my previous post, Bliss have produced an estimate of additional costs when a baby is in special care.
- Travel: £400
- Food: £240
- Accommodation: £110
- Childcare: £100 (this is important if the parents already have other children at home)
- Car park: £125
- Loss of earnings: £1260
- Other: £565 (including phone calls, premature baby nappies, breast pumps etc)
And I know it sees so trivial in the grand scheme of things but items for small babies are dearer than for normal ones. The micronappies we had to provide never go on offer. Only Pampers appear to make them. I was told Tesco do them, but our local Tesco (which is a big one) refused to stock them, the nearerst stockist was 15 miles away! And whilst I agree with the principal that the baby is yours and you should be responsible for its expenses, at a time when money is tight, buying nappies for a baby who shouldn't even be born yet, is just another added expense and more money to find, and another reminder that the situation in which you find yourself is not normal.
I really struggled with meals. I didn't want to spend money on hospital food, but we didn't even have access to a fridge to put sandwiches in (and it was high summer when Joseph was on the unit) The cafeteria was busy, and expensive. Despite just about being staff members, we weren't eligible for discounted meals, a 20% discount would have helped enormously. I tried to cut lunches and take them in but it wasn't always easy, I was expressing, travelling nearly an hour each way, and recovering from a c-section. Sometimes it just didn't feel there were enough hours in the day.
I had to catch buses to the hospital. Our hospital provides free parking for long stay patients, but there is no help with public transport. A 28 day pass cost £60. Joseph was in for 76 days, albeit for 10 of these in total I was in hospital with him. My husband was not permitted time off work, when I was criticially ill in hospital and Joseph was suffering from NEC and very poor indeed, my husband had to use annual leave for a week, then return to work, leaving me to find my way to and from hospital on my own. I don't drive, but even if I had been able to drive, our insurance wouldn't have permitted me to until six weeks post c-section.
It was a very hard time for us, and we were incredibly lucky, due to my job and my husband's job we had private health insurance, and we got a rebate for having to be accommodated in an NHS hospital as there was no private facilities available in our area. So all the costs we laid out were covered by this payment, albeit some months after discharge, however we were fine.
But most families do not have this sort of insurance, and in fact no one in my unit had heard of NHS cash benefit.
I am not sure what the answer is, but I do think the system of SMP starting once a baby is born is unfair. I do think if this is the case, their should be some financial provision for parents in this situation. I have heard some terrible stories of families who have lost their homes, or had County Court Judgements, and are still picking up the pieces years afterwards.
Tomorrow I will talk more about support for families and the sort of strain families are under in these circumstances.
The Chance of a Lifetime
As most of you will know, Bliss is a charity close to my heart Bliss supports parents and babies who are born too soon, too small, too sick, not just premature babies, and baby that needs special care. I first heard of Bliss when I subscribed to a little magazine called Candis. It's a little like the Reader's Digest, but it supports charities like Bliss (it also has very good interviews and recipes which is why I subscribed!) Every issue though, they did a feature on Bliss, and I would marvel at the small babies, and the amazing work Bliss does. Bliss does two things, it provides information and support to families and it campaigns on behalf of the NHS's smallest patients.
I used Bliss on a few occasions when Joseph was in hospital. At times I didn't understand the terminology being used and the implications of what was being said, and because of my self imposed ban on Googling such things, I would ring Bliss. I also used its Parents 4 Parents services, where I was put in touch with a mum who had had a similar experience to myself. It was then I started becoming very aware of the postcode lottery and how variable care is depending on where in the country you happen to have your baby.
Today is the release of the annual Bliss Baby Report, which you can read in its entirity here. It makes for interesting, if somewhat unsuprising reading. There is a chronic shortage of nurses, experienced neonatal nurses. The shortfall is over 1 000. Now I have first hand experience of how wonderful these nurses are. It takes a special sort of nurse to manage these very small babies. I also have had first had experience of what happend when there are not enough nurses on the unit.
The report also talks about units being over capacity at times, or shut at times to new admissions, both of which happened on our unit whilst Joseph was there.
This is a time of great economic hardship nationally, and the NHS has a lot of demands and pressures upon it. However this shortage is not a new thing. Babies cannot expect the same level of ITU nursing care as a child or an adult. A ratio of 1:1 is the benchmark for Intensive Care Units for everyone regardless of age, but for premature babies it often does not happen. I have to say though, in my experience, Joseph did, at most times, have 1:1 care.
The other thing that is clear from this report is the pressure and strain families are under when they have a child in a special care baby unit.
My next two posts will explore the financial aspects of having a premature baby, and the practice of transferring babies.
I used Bliss on a few occasions when Joseph was in hospital. At times I didn't understand the terminology being used and the implications of what was being said, and because of my self imposed ban on Googling such things, I would ring Bliss. I also used its Parents 4 Parents services, where I was put in touch with a mum who had had a similar experience to myself. It was then I started becoming very aware of the postcode lottery and how variable care is depending on where in the country you happen to have your baby.
Today is the release of the annual Bliss Baby Report, which you can read in its entirity here. It makes for interesting, if somewhat unsuprising reading. There is a chronic shortage of nurses, experienced neonatal nurses. The shortfall is over 1 000. Now I have first hand experience of how wonderful these nurses are. It takes a special sort of nurse to manage these very small babies. I also have had first had experience of what happend when there are not enough nurses on the unit.
The report also talks about units being over capacity at times, or shut at times to new admissions, both of which happened on our unit whilst Joseph was there.
This is a time of great economic hardship nationally, and the NHS has a lot of demands and pressures upon it. However this shortage is not a new thing. Babies cannot expect the same level of ITU nursing care as a child or an adult. A ratio of 1:1 is the benchmark for Intensive Care Units for everyone regardless of age, but for premature babies it often does not happen. I have to say though, in my experience, Joseph did, at most times, have 1:1 care.
The other thing that is clear from this report is the pressure and strain families are under when they have a child in a special care baby unit.
My next two posts will explore the financial aspects of having a premature baby, and the practice of transferring babies.
Monday, 1 November 2010
The Home Straight
This weekend something tragic happened, a woman lost a baby, at 6 months pregnant (probably around 26/27 weeks pregnant) That woman is Lily Allen, a well known British singer. She had been photographed with her bump on show, smiling, bubbly, glowing. But today, she is grieving. I hope her baby boy is in peace, and that Lily Allen and her partner can finds solace and healing.
What interested me today were the comments on Twitter and on a pregnancy and baby forum I visit. Many people said "I thought after six months you were home and dry".
The third trimester, in development terms, is fairly boring. The baby has everything it needs in terms of organs, and the third trimester is a time for growth and laying down fat stores, and to prepare for the journey ahead and life outside the womb.
However the third trimester is still, for the developing foetus, fraught with risk. The mother may develop pre eclampsia, the cervix could be incompetent and fail, membranes can rupture prematurely, the placenta can malfunction. The mother could be in an accident, or struck down with an illness.
Whilst most pregnancies are "boring and normal" albeit uncomfortable towards the end, there are pregnancies that remain fragile right up to that moment of birth.
Whilst I wouldn't wish anyone to suffer a loss, especially so late on in their pregnancy, I hope if anything comes out of this, it is that people are more aware that babies do pass away late on in pregnancy and we as mothers need more monitoring, more care and their needs to be continuing research into pregnancy problems, and continuing advances in medical care.
What interested me today were the comments on Twitter and on a pregnancy and baby forum I visit. Many people said "I thought after six months you were home and dry".
The third trimester, in development terms, is fairly boring. The baby has everything it needs in terms of organs, and the third trimester is a time for growth and laying down fat stores, and to prepare for the journey ahead and life outside the womb.
However the third trimester is still, for the developing foetus, fraught with risk. The mother may develop pre eclampsia, the cervix could be incompetent and fail, membranes can rupture prematurely, the placenta can malfunction. The mother could be in an accident, or struck down with an illness.
Whilst most pregnancies are "boring and normal" albeit uncomfortable towards the end, there are pregnancies that remain fragile right up to that moment of birth.
Whilst I wouldn't wish anyone to suffer a loss, especially so late on in their pregnancy, I hope if anything comes out of this, it is that people are more aware that babies do pass away late on in pregnancy and we as mothers need more monitoring, more care and their needs to be continuing research into pregnancy problems, and continuing advances in medical care.
Wednesday, 27 October 2010
RSV and the NHS
RSV, have you heard of it? If you answered yes I am guessing your either a health professional, a parent of a premature or sick baby or an adult with a long term health condition. Until last year I had never heard of RSV.
It stands for respiratory syncytial virus, and has symptoms not dissimlar from the common cold. Like the common cold it is, well, common, and raises its ugly little head from November to March each year. RSV can cause bronchiolitis, which for small babies and children, and those with suppressed immune symptoms, can be devastating. It can cause the baby to be readmitted, and in serious cases, bronchiolitis can be fatal.
When Joseph was in hospital, we were told he had Chronic Lung Disease. I was devastated, a disease? It took me a while to get my head around the fact that CLD is not a disease as such (although it can be) its a definition used by healthcare professionals. Joseph had been on oxygen for longer than one month, so was deemed to have CLD.
Now in the UK if a baby has been diagnosed with CLD they may be eligible to have a monthly injection over winter called Synagis (Palivizumab). This injection, from what I understand, does not prevent RSV, but lessens its severity and course, and can prevent readmissions.
Of course, there is a catch. It's expensive. Around £700. Per dose. And the injections happened once a month for 6 months. That, my friends, is a lot of money, and given that the rate of premature babies does not go down each year, it goes up, its a cost the NHS is going to have to learn how to deal with.
Now at the eleventh hour, it was decided Joseph did not have CLD, or not to such an extent as to warrant the RSV injections. At the time I was very upset, and was so stressed out by everything that had happened, I didn't appeal. I really should have done, but at the time, it just didn't enter my head to.
And as it happened, Joseph had a perfect winter. A couple of minor colds, but nothing serious. So, annoyingly, this justifies the PCT's decision not to fund this injection.
As I've got more active in the premature baby community I can see a major disparity between various PCTs throughout the country, and it makes my blood boil. How can it be so different in North Manchester compared to say North London?
The other thing that annoys me, is that private health care in this country is so restrictive. We are members of a private health care scheme but it doesn't cover outpatient drugs or preventative treatment, so they wouldn't cover the shots either.
And I'm not sure what the answer is, because not only did the NHS save £4200 not giving us the medication, it didn't pay out for any inpatient stays for Joseph either. What is a big shame is that we were enrolled in an efficacy study for the RSV jabs, but because the funding was pulled, we were no longer in the study. I think it would have been interesting to keep us in and to compare how Joseph did compared to other 27 weekers who did receive the Synagis.
So as we approach winter again, my thoughts are with all of you who have small babies, and children with suppressed immune systems, and I hope you all have a kind winter.
It stands for respiratory syncytial virus, and has symptoms not dissimlar from the common cold. Like the common cold it is, well, common, and raises its ugly little head from November to March each year. RSV can cause bronchiolitis, which for small babies and children, and those with suppressed immune symptoms, can be devastating. It can cause the baby to be readmitted, and in serious cases, bronchiolitis can be fatal.
When Joseph was in hospital, we were told he had Chronic Lung Disease. I was devastated, a disease? It took me a while to get my head around the fact that CLD is not a disease as such (although it can be) its a definition used by healthcare professionals. Joseph had been on oxygen for longer than one month, so was deemed to have CLD.
Now in the UK if a baby has been diagnosed with CLD they may be eligible to have a monthly injection over winter called Synagis (Palivizumab). This injection, from what I understand, does not prevent RSV, but lessens its severity and course, and can prevent readmissions.
Of course, there is a catch. It's expensive. Around £700. Per dose. And the injections happened once a month for 6 months. That, my friends, is a lot of money, and given that the rate of premature babies does not go down each year, it goes up, its a cost the NHS is going to have to learn how to deal with.
Now at the eleventh hour, it was decided Joseph did not have CLD, or not to such an extent as to warrant the RSV injections. At the time I was very upset, and was so stressed out by everything that had happened, I didn't appeal. I really should have done, but at the time, it just didn't enter my head to.
And as it happened, Joseph had a perfect winter. A couple of minor colds, but nothing serious. So, annoyingly, this justifies the PCT's decision not to fund this injection.
As I've got more active in the premature baby community I can see a major disparity between various PCTs throughout the country, and it makes my blood boil. How can it be so different in North Manchester compared to say North London?
The other thing that annoys me, is that private health care in this country is so restrictive. We are members of a private health care scheme but it doesn't cover outpatient drugs or preventative treatment, so they wouldn't cover the shots either.
And I'm not sure what the answer is, because not only did the NHS save £4200 not giving us the medication, it didn't pay out for any inpatient stays for Joseph either. What is a big shame is that we were enrolled in an efficacy study for the RSV jabs, but because the funding was pulled, we were no longer in the study. I think it would have been interesting to keep us in and to compare how Joseph did compared to other 27 weekers who did receive the Synagis.
So as we approach winter again, my thoughts are with all of you who have small babies, and children with suppressed immune systems, and I hope you all have a kind winter.
Monday, 25 October 2010
Frustration
Toddlers seem to spent a lot of time getting very frustrated. They want to do things, they want increasing levels of independence, and they want all these things now, immediately! Dealing with Joseph's frustration is becoming an increasing part of my day, which is fine. Until today.
We attend a lovely baby group, in our local village where we used to live. Despite moving we continue to travel to this one as we have been attending for over a year and have made some very good friends.
Today Joseph was surrounded by girls, all around the same age as him. Four of them, including Joseph, were happily playing with a pink baby stroller. Each of them took turns to walk around with it. The stroller was very light, and each little girl took at least 10 - 20 steps. Then Joseph had a go. He managed 3 steps then fell into a heap.
He was inconsolable, as the three others continued to play. It wasn't the bump, worse bumps happen on a daily basis and are marked with a quick kiss and a cuddle. No this was different. Joseph finally realised something. He can't walk.
I've been ok with Joseph not being able to walk. On corrected age, he is only 14 months, so he's not officially developmentally delayed, the milestone for walking is anything up to 18 months. I can handle people asking "is he walking yet", and having to explain his story......again.
What I can't handle is Joseph realising he is different, without me being able to explain to him why. I just want to tell him that he's special, that he was born 3 months early, that he wasn't expected to be able to breathe on his own or eat on his own, and he has done an amazing job catching up with everything else, and that walking can wait until he's ready.
So Joseph, if your reading this, you are amazing, and it doesn't matter if you never walk, you have achieved so much so ready, you can fly.
We attend a lovely baby group, in our local village where we used to live. Despite moving we continue to travel to this one as we have been attending for over a year and have made some very good friends.
Today Joseph was surrounded by girls, all around the same age as him. Four of them, including Joseph, were happily playing with a pink baby stroller. Each of them took turns to walk around with it. The stroller was very light, and each little girl took at least 10 - 20 steps. Then Joseph had a go. He managed 3 steps then fell into a heap.
He was inconsolable, as the three others continued to play. It wasn't the bump, worse bumps happen on a daily basis and are marked with a quick kiss and a cuddle. No this was different. Joseph finally realised something. He can't walk.
I've been ok with Joseph not being able to walk. On corrected age, he is only 14 months, so he's not officially developmentally delayed, the milestone for walking is anything up to 18 months. I can handle people asking "is he walking yet", and having to explain his story......again.
What I can't handle is Joseph realising he is different, without me being able to explain to him why. I just want to tell him that he's special, that he was born 3 months early, that he wasn't expected to be able to breathe on his own or eat on his own, and he has done an amazing job catching up with everything else, and that walking can wait until he's ready.
So Joseph, if your reading this, you are amazing, and it doesn't matter if you never walk, you have achieved so much so ready, you can fly.
Thursday, 21 October 2010
Naming the Boy Child
I love twitter for blog ideas, thank you Jane. My dearly beloved husband is a traditionalist, really quite stuck in the 1950's, so naming the boy child could have proved to be difficult. However, when pregnant, although we opted (ok he opted and I followed) not to find out the gender, we were certain the child was a boy. Husband thought this because most first borns in his family are boys. I thought this because I went off chocolate. No girl would put her mother through such a trial, having already been denied camembert, brie and gorgonzola, and a soft boiled egg. Oh and sushi!
We quickly decided on Joseph. We liked it, a strong traditional name. I was a little concerned that it was perhaps a bit, um, er, too biblical. I am a Christian, this is true, but not a traditionalist, and my husband has a fairly much ambivalent approach to religion (unless the chips are seriously down and then he's on his knees with the rest of us.) When I consulted the baby book I became less sure. "Jehovah increases" didn't seem to fit. Did it?
So, the day prior to Joseph's birth, having already been told that I would deliver the following day, we had an emergency scan, and the estimate of Joseph's weight was given. 800 grams. Tiny in anyone's language. As it turns out this was wrong, buy 150 grams. In quite the wrong direction. Joseph was going to need all the help he could get to increase!
So his first name was decided. We quickly chose Robert as his middle name, for two important reasons. Quite by chance this is my husband's middle name, and my own dad's first name. My dad cried when we told him. I omitted the fact that my husband has Robert as a middle name!
The night prior to Joseph's birth was frightening. I lay there trying to think of different things to keep my brain occupied, as mentioned before I was not allowed to sleep in case I developed full blown eclampsia. So I decided to give Joseph an extra middle name. I wanted something special, unique. Something that told his story. I chose Bowden, proncounced as bow of ship- den. Bow-den.
I have the sad misfortune to be a Richmod Tiger's fan. They are a wonderful, heritage, Australian Rules Football team with a wonderful rich history. They just so happen, at the moment, to be slightly struggling. Ok for years I have had nothing but disappointment. But hey ho, once fan and all that.
Anyway I chose Bowden after this bloke, not the biggest of players, but one of the bravest and fairest. And the Tiger's theme song really resonated with me during those long dark hours.
Oh, we’re from Tigerland,
A fighting fury, we’re from Tigerland,
In any weather you will see us with a grin,
Risking head and shin,
If we’re behind then never mind,
We’ll fight and fight and win.
For we’re from Tigerland,
We’ll never weaken ’til the final siren’s gone.
Like the Tigers of old,
We’re strong and we’re bold.
For we’re from Tiger yellow and black,
For we’re from Tigerland.
I just thought that summed up this little life that had a massive task and fight ahead, and even I wouldn't stoop to lumbering "Tiger" on a child as a middle name.
And a few months later, I received in the post a poster from Joel Bowden, signed simply "Dear Joseph, Aim High, Joel"
We quickly decided on Joseph. We liked it, a strong traditional name. I was a little concerned that it was perhaps a bit, um, er, too biblical. I am a Christian, this is true, but not a traditionalist, and my husband has a fairly much ambivalent approach to religion (unless the chips are seriously down and then he's on his knees with the rest of us.) When I consulted the baby book I became less sure. "Jehovah increases" didn't seem to fit. Did it?
So, the day prior to Joseph's birth, having already been told that I would deliver the following day, we had an emergency scan, and the estimate of Joseph's weight was given. 800 grams. Tiny in anyone's language. As it turns out this was wrong, buy 150 grams. In quite the wrong direction. Joseph was going to need all the help he could get to increase!
So his first name was decided. We quickly chose Robert as his middle name, for two important reasons. Quite by chance this is my husband's middle name, and my own dad's first name. My dad cried when we told him. I omitted the fact that my husband has Robert as a middle name!
The night prior to Joseph's birth was frightening. I lay there trying to think of different things to keep my brain occupied, as mentioned before I was not allowed to sleep in case I developed full blown eclampsia. So I decided to give Joseph an extra middle name. I wanted something special, unique. Something that told his story. I chose Bowden, proncounced as bow of ship- den. Bow-den.
I have the sad misfortune to be a Richmod Tiger's fan. They are a wonderful, heritage, Australian Rules Football team with a wonderful rich history. They just so happen, at the moment, to be slightly struggling. Ok for years I have had nothing but disappointment. But hey ho, once fan and all that.
Anyway I chose Bowden after this bloke, not the biggest of players, but one of the bravest and fairest. And the Tiger's theme song really resonated with me during those long dark hours.
Oh, we’re from Tigerland,
A fighting fury, we’re from Tigerland,
In any weather you will see us with a grin,
Risking head and shin,
If we’re behind then never mind,
We’ll fight and fight and win.
For we’re from Tigerland,
We’ll never weaken ’til the final siren’s gone.
Like the Tigers of old,
We’re strong and we’re bold.
For we’re from Tiger yellow and black,
For we’re from Tigerland.
I just thought that summed up this little life that had a massive task and fight ahead, and even I wouldn't stoop to lumbering "Tiger" on a child as a middle name.
And a few months later, I received in the post a poster from Joel Bowden, signed simply "Dear Joseph, Aim High, Joel"
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