As Sweet as Honey - Bliss Honey Dressings Project

Premature babies are subjected to a number of procedures when they are born too soon. They don't show up on pictures very well but Joseph's hands and feet are covered in tiny scars, over 50 of them. The procedures carried out are essential, long lines for feeding, iv lines for antibiotics etc.

The problem is, with every wound, there lies an opportunity for infection to take hold. These tiny babies are really vulnerable, and however careful one is with hygeine, infections can and do happen. An infection can lead to life threatening sepsis.

Bliss are funding an important trial into the use of manuka honey dressings. This project has really interested me, what is kinder and gentler than honey, I really love the idea of Joseph being wrapped in honey dressings. This is the information provided by Bliss about the trial

The Honey Dressings Research project team at Nottingham City University Hospital has successfully started on the first part of the project, necessary to evaluate the effectiveness of using manuka honey on babies as a healing agent. Special care babies can suffer from a variety of wounds including abrasions from tubes and plaster, and bed sores. The team is looking at a Wound Assessment Tool which will enable them to evaluate pain associated with differing wounds, and is a vital stage in the investigation, to help them to assess which wounds are appropriate for the honey dressing.   It is being led by Dr Jon Dorling, Consultant neonatologist and the main issue is that premature babies have very fragile thin skin which restricts the use of antiseptic dressings. 

The use of honey is not new, it has been used since ancient times, falling out of favour once antibiotics became in general use. However now we know that antibiotics, whilst of course a wonderful invention, have their downsides, the use of manuka honey is becoming more prevelant, and is already used in some clinical settings such as for cancer patients. The use of clinical honey is fascinating and you can learn more here.

What is lacking is evidence, and this project will help collate this and see if honey dressings can help these tiny babies and prevent infection.

Mother and Baby magazine have raised £80 000 towards this project.

If you want to help Bliss with funds towards this and other projects for premature babies or provide resources for families please consider a one off or regular donation. 

Frankie and Bennys - Review

I was very pleased to be invited to try Frankie and Bennys new menu launched this month. We have a lovely new Frankie and Bennys locally and popped in last night to give it a try.

We were quite surprised just how busy the restaurant was for a Monday night. When we sat down, despite having not booked, they already had children's activities on the table. I thought this was a great touch and straight away Joseph (nearly 3) started playing with the little cards and drawing pictures.

The new menu is vast with lots of choice. Dining with a toddler is a reasonably swift affair so we we chose to have main courses and desserts rather than starters.

I chose the new Calamari Hot Caesar wrap, which was simply delicious. The calamari was tender, which is often a challenge to get right and the seasoning was just right. Personally I would have preferred a green salad to coleslaw, as the dressing in the wrap was creamy and I found the addition of coleslaw a bit too much, but the coolness of the coleslaw did balance the spiciness of the wrap.

My husband had a sirloin steak which looked delicious and came rare, as ordered, which sometimes doesn't happen in busy restaurants. It certainly kept him quiet, and it came with a delicious peppercorn sauce.

The children's menu is split into kids and juniors, which I really love. I often find at other places kids portions are too big. If Joseph is overfaced he often won't eat anything. He had chicken strips and chips which he pronounced delicious. We had side orders of onion rings and dough balls with breadsticks, which went down a storm. Joseph loved the breadsticks. It never ceases to amaze me for a fussy eater how much he adores garlic!

Next it came time to order dessert. Joseph ordered a chocolate sundae, my husband had tiramisu, and I ordered a lemon crumble sundae.

Unfortunately the restaurant, being so busy, made a couple of mistakes. The chocolate sundae for Joseph was missing the chocolate buttons, but they did correct this with a side order of maltesers when it was mentioned, otherwise it was just icecream with chocolate sauce. But he did love it and ate it all!

I ordered the Lemon Crumble Sundae, when it arrived I queried it as it didn't look right. No one came back to me as it was just so busy. What hapened was they had delivered the Sherbert Dip instead which is essentially the same thing but without the crumbly bits! No matter as it was delicious!

We really enjoyed our meal and the new menu offers a lot of choice. I would have to say that if I was a vegetarian or had one in the family, Frankie and Bennys may not be my first choice and I'd advise you to check the menu before you go if you are vegetarian.

Eating out with a toddler can be stressful, and I find Frankie and Benny's perfect for little people. Joseph loves the music and atmosphere, the children's menu is good, and the activites are great too. We were there for two hours with no melt downs or tantrums and left full and happy! 

All images courtesy and copyright of Frankie and Benny's

I was offered a voucher to try out the new menu all opinions my own 

Knitting for Premature Babies

One of the rites of passage for the parent of a premature baby is when that baby can have a blanket and wear clothes. In the picture above is a helmet Joseph wore for his first outing out of the incubator. This was knitted by a kind volunteer that I will never meet. Also in the picture is a blanket I hastily knitted out of chunky wool, that Joseph slept under in his incubator.

I am not a knitter. I have just completed a six week knitting course at our local surestart centre, which has brought my knitting along by a country mile. I have started to knit a couple of simle blankets for neonatal units.

This little pink number is modelled by a friendly triceratops. It's not that clever, just stocking stitch and the wool is dyed to form that pattern no clever striping or intarsia work so don't be too impressed!

This one is much smaller and is for a charity called Lisa's Stars. (Content is sensitive, these blankets are made for babies born too soon who can't come home with their parents)

Some units no longer take hand knitted garments as there are concerns they cannot be boiled washed. More often hand knitted garments are given to the baby and stay with them, so there is no need for boil washing. This is why there are such large numbers needed in the units that do still use these precious garments.

If you want to join me in knitting there are several ways of going about it. Contact your local unit and ask if they are accepting garments and blankets.

There's a growing charity called PreemiesUK that supply garments all over the United Kingdom. On their Facebook page under Notes, there are several patterns ranging from easy to more difficult ones. If you are not a knitter, sewer or crocheter, there are loads of other ways to help, through donating money or recycling, see the page for more details.

Bliss, for babies born too soon, too small too sick have a craft club you can join for a reasonable monthly fee that will give you access to patterns and projects.

In my travels I found a great list of patterns here on the BBC Stoke and Staffordshire website, supplied by Ray of Hope based at Leighton Hospital. The patterns are categorised into hand knitted patterns, machine knitted patterns and sewing patterns.

I hope this has inspired you to get your knitting needles out and knit for premature babies! You don't have to be a brilliant knitter, and it's very rewarding.

Preventing Pregnancy Complications - I Need Your Help

I've recently been nominated for a MAD Blog Award in the baby category, which amuses me, seeing as I don't have one anymore (Joseph says he's not a baby he's a big boy) and I'm not having anymore. But then I got to thinking maybe it is appropriate. I blog about babies often, but before they are even here.

In the coming weeks, after the Easter fun, I will be blogging for a week specifically about pregnancy complications and what we can do to help. I will be talking about incompetent cervix, stitches, pre eclampsia, placenta issues, all sorts of things, but importantly the latest research and what you can do personally to help not only yourself but other women.

To save babies lives there are many things we need. We need ongoing research such as that funded by Tommy's, we need empowered, educated parents to be, we need a responsive NHS who uses this research to change practice and improve outcomes. And most importantly, we need to talk about it.

The rates of stillbirth in this country of ours are a disgrace. Getting this down should be an absolute priority for the NHS, in my eyes, as well as the prematurity rate.

Yes, for a lot of women pregnancy and child birth is a normal life experience and not an illness, but for a lot of women, the path to motherhood is very difficult indeed. We can't keep sweeping this under the carpet. Other countries have much lower rates than us, and we need to work on this, all of us. Nothing will change if we, the mums and dads of Britain don't start demanding it.

This where you come in. There are three things I want you to do.

1. Sponsor me in the Bupa London 10k to raise money for Tommy's.
2. Share your story. Have you had treatment for incompetent cervix? Do you want to share what has helped you following previous pregnancy loss or problems? Email me! notevenabagofsugar@gmail.com
3. Consider your own fundraising event. If you are a runner there is a great opportunity that I will be blogging about later in the week

Some of what I write about is going to be hard to read, it's going to be sad. No one wants to talk about babies that pass away, but its reality and we're not helping those that it has happened to by sweeping it away.

When Joseph was born I was struck by the number of older women, ladies in their 70s and 80s who poured their hearts out to me about their babies born too soon or born still. They had never talked about it.

It shouldn't be this way. We should be loving and caring for all mothers.

Please help me put this right. 

A Mother's Work Meme

I was tagged a few weeks ago by A Working Mum in the Mother's Work Meme created by Mother Wife Me.

So here are the rules etc.

A Mother’s Work Meme
Rules:
Please post the rules
Answer the questions in as much or as little detail as suits you
Leave a comment on mother.wife.me so we can keep track of the meme
Tag 3 people and link to them on your blog
Let them know you tagged them
Tweet loudly about taking part (well ok, that isn’t a rule, but how about if we start a hashtag – #amothersworkmeme)

Questions:
1.  Did you work before becoming a mum?
2.  What is your current situation?
3.  Freestyle – got your own point you’d like to get across on this issue? Here’s your chance

1. Did you work before becoming a mum?
I was a case manager for a health insurance company and I loved my job. I had had a few roles in the company and really enjoyed the work I did. I knew when I became pregnant we'd have to make some tough decisions, as the cost of childcare and transport would have left me with very little take home pay. Then I ended up going off on sick at 16 weeks pregnant as I felt "weird". The stress was getting to me, and I wasn't coping at work. Turns out, I was developing pre eclampsia, and had my baby at 27 weeks gestation. I never went back.

2. What is your current situation?
When Joseph was born I was adamant I wanted to raise him myself at home. I was advised to keep out of nursery until he was 2 by our medical team, as he was immune compromised. So I accepted voluntary redundancy and stayed home. After he turned two I was approached to join a home care company. I hadn't worked in care for a number of years but thought it would be suitable work for me to balance child rearing and bring in some much needed cash, as things are incredibly tight on one income.

So now I work variable hours, around 20 per week, and at the moment I am working nightshift. I am knackered, but happy. I love the work, the hours are great, my bosses are understanding.

3. Freestyle - My Bugbear - Flexibility and Ridiculous demands for no money
I applied for several jobs before finding this one. I found that no one wanted me as I couldn't be flexible. I am willing to work evenings nights and weekends, but can't work in the day so easily (for the next reason coming up), so you would think that in many roles this would be ideal. No. At every turn I got knocked back. It also peeves me that work training etc is all done Monday - Friday 9-5. Support work is not Monday - Friday 9-5 so why don't these companies that offer training offer unsociable hours? Childcare is NOT flexible. We have no family at all in the UK, no one who can take Joseph for a day or whatever. You can't easily book childcare for one off days. It's virtually impossible. And I wouldn't really want to dump Joseph just anywhere. It just annoys me that there's this buzz word of "flexibility" but it's a dead end, one way street.

The next thing that really sticks in my throat that certainly up here in the North, its very difficult to find anything above minimum wage that has any degree of flexibility. Childcare is so expensive, its a real discincentive to work. My husband works and whilst he doesn't earn a fortune the government has now decided we don't need tax credits or help with childcare. It's stupid and its unfair. I have really struggled with this. I am happy to accept my close to minimum wage job as I have little costs, but it just gets my goat that the burden falls onto women, by and large, particularly those who haven't got a stunning career.

Thus endeth my rant. I'm copping out and not tagging which I know is naughty but this has been a well circulated and well loved meme. If you see it, and fancy doing it, then you are tagged!

 
 

The Things That Scar

It still hasn't left me, that time in the neonatal unit. It's nearly 3 years on now, and it's interesting how much that time has impacted on me personally.

Occasionally, not all the time, I still see Joseph as that vulnerable little baby, and a wave of fear washes over me. Last night Joseph was very upset going to bed, because I've been on nights and he is waking up and I'm not there, when I am there he wants me with him all the time, especially at night. He finally settled. When I went to bed at 10 I had a panic as I couldn't hear him breathe so had to go check. Although he's a big boy now, it still hasn't left me, those little worries. It pains me that maybe he felt abandoned when he was tiny. I wasn't there for him all the time.

Now the weather is nicer Joseph is starting to wear cropped pants and t-shirts. I still worry about the scars. They are not major ones, just from iv lines, but they are quite raised and noticeable. Sometimes people ask me if he's been bitten by insects. I never really know what to say. Whether to say "I don't know", to explain, to just shrug it off. I don't want him to be hung up by them. Strangely enough the one I was worried about, from his hernia surgery, has been so well done that its invisible!

On one of my blogger forums this week there has been a discussion about whether we would allow non-formal milk sharing, or allow our baby to nurse on someone else. Quite rightly, most of the mothers have said no, nursing is too intimate. That caught me, that I lost all that intimate new born time because of Joseph's prematurity, and I'll never have that. I had to share him with nurses and doctors. To me that leap to have allowed him to nurse from someone else seems a very short one.

That old sadness is haunting me again. Close friends have had babies recently, and it hurts, all over again. Of course I share their joy, and I wouldn't want what happened to us to happen to anyone else. I wouldn't want my dear friends to have a premature baby just so I would have more in common with them.

However its my old grief, and more than that, that I wanted better for Joseph, a better start, with me and with his dad nearby all the time, safe in the closeness and intimacy of our family.

No wonder I still get separation anxiety when I leave him. It brings it all back. I find it hard to enjoy time away from him.

Sometimes I wonder if it would be helpful to have another baby, whether it would help erase some of that stuff and replace it with something new. But then what if it happened again?

Lately a lot of people have asked me when we are having another and are shocked when I say no more babies. I don't think people realise just how scary it is having a premature baby, and just how much it hurts to see what happens to them. They aren't just put into a baby nursery and left to grow, there's so much active medical treatment, and so much risk to the baby of complications, of things going wrong.

And its good, that I still remember, that I can still feel the hurt and the pain and the fear.

And I still feel very much the joy, of having a baby, of watching him grow, of developing a bond. What happened to us happens to so many families around the world, the way we care for these families, support the mothers, the fathers, the siblings and the babies needs to improve.

At times I feel lost, neglected, that I need a blog to read or a hand to hold.

It still hasn't left me.

Book Review - You Are What You Eat by Serge Bloch

Recently I was sent You Are What You Eat, by Serge Bloch to read and review.

I had never come across Serge Bloch before, and I've now found a new favourite author. The book tells the story of a fussy eater, through common every day sayings and absolutely delightful illustrations a combination line drawings and photographs. The book is written in the voice of the fussy child.

One of my favourite parts of the book is when the child says "My mum says it drives her bananas to see me eat like a bird". Whenever I read that Joseph laughs and grins at me, as he is going through a very picky phase at the moment, and knows, despite my attempts at a poker face, that it really does drive me bananas!.

The book reads beautifully, and its one that at nearly three Joseph appreciates through pictures, but it will suit him just as much until he's 8-10. I love books that become favourites, taking on different meanings as the child grows, and You Are What You Eat certainly does that.

It also encourages reading, as the key sayings are in bright colours, larger type and match the image shown, which really helps with word recognition.

It maybe coincidence, but since reading this a few times of an evening, Joseph's eating has improved!

I'd highly recommend this delighful book.

You Are What You Eat by Serge Bloch
ISBN: 9781402797606
Price: £5.99
Publisher: Stirling
Publication Date: March 2012
Available from Amazon