Wednesday 5 January 2011

Why I created this blog

It's day 5 of the blog dare, as it turns out, people aren't following the prompts every day, the dare was just to blog every day for a year. I've ended up blogging a couple of times a day to accommodate the dare and whatever else I want to write about! But today's dare is working for me, so I will keep up the daily challenges for now!

When Joseph was in special care, I looked for blogs about premature babies, and I found loads, mainly ones started whilst the baby was in hospital to keep the extended family and friends up to date, and to chart the babies progress. I knew I couldn't do that, I didn't have time for blogging, I was flat out keeping up as it is. I also knew I wasn't in the right headspace, it was all a confusing blur and I didn't feel I could write cohesively about what was going on, and how Joseph was doing.

In the six months after Joseph came home, I became a mess. I was an incredibly difficult person to be around, although everyone was very kind to me and no one said as much, but I felt difficult! I cried.....all the time. I was bitter. I could only dwell on what had happened,  I had no empathy for others anymore, which is so not like me. I was angry. How could this have happened to me? And I was full of blame.

Once I started on my wonder drug (oh how I love thee citalopram!) I started to feel better slowly but it was a long time before I got my perspective and empathy back. When I started this blog in February 2010 it was purely as a catharsis, however, once I wrote my second post about Post Traumatic Stress Disorder I knew that my blog could be more than just me regurgitating my experiences, and that other mums could be supported and helped through my blog, and starting their own.

I hope in 2011 that I can raise the bar, and become more widely read, and perhaps start working with sponsors to raise the profile of babies born prematurely, mum's who have had traumatic birth experiences, and just general parenting issues especially parenting sustainably (cloth nappies etc)

I love to blog, and I really want to get better at it, that's my challenge.


  1. I'm guilty of picking and choosing which topics I want to write about. But I say if you want to tackle each one, go for it.

    I'm glad that sharing your story is helping you get stronger. And thanks for stopping by my blog.

  2. Oh wow, substitute Joseph for Charlotte and I could have written that. My baby was born at 27 weeks also. I too am experiencing the blame, the grief, the anger, the PTSD, the PND...I'm even on Citalopram!

    I also have the same bloggy ambitions as you, ok, except for the cloth nappies part *feels ashamed*

    I'm so glad you came through it, and look forward to doing the same. It's really helpful to find others who have been through the experience when no one in your real life has. Thank you!

  3. ps nearly forgot - love your blog name :D