So it's Oh Mammy's Monday Musical Meme time again. I so enjoyed the meme post last week, and this week I really wanted to blog about this song. I think there are two sorts of parents in the world, those that relate to this song, and those who, very happily, don't. The song is Wires by Athlete. I have chosen this live version, as I think with the live strings its just beautiful.
During my pregnancy I watched a lot of programmes about childbirth on Discovery Home and Health. Very often an advertisement for Great Ormond Street Children's Hospital would come on, it would make me cry, this song, images of small children hooked up to wires and machines. However, the most powerful element was the voice over from mum's talking about their children. This mum said "second to thinking he might die, not being able to hold him was the hardest thing". My heart just went out to her, and I wondered how I would cope if my child was that poorly, that sick.
And like a bolt from the blue (which is what eclampsia means) there I was. Sitting in a hospital ward, with a baby with wires coming in and out. On my iPod I had the Radio 1 Live Lounge version of this song. Everytime I went up to my room after seeing Joseph, I put on my headphones and listened and cried my heart out. But I hung on to the last verse "looking at you know, you would never know". And I just hung on to that, like I would hang on to a bible verse, one day, there will be a time when no one will believe me.
We are here. So often people look incredulous when they ask what he weighed. If I show pictures, sometimes you can see a little tear.
I am so grateful to Athlete for this song. I wonder if, as a band, they have any idea that there is a group of mothers who lived this song, and love it, I wonder if they know how many people find meaning in this song. I don't think of it with sadness now, I think of it as the song that gave us hope.