Thursday 13 October 2011

Where There's A Will

A couple of months I went to The Baby Show in Manchester. I won tickets with the lovely T-J, and went for a good old nosy. I wasn't really looking at prams or toys, I was looking at businesses and blogging ideas. Whilst there I saw a man with two enormous teddy bears, and I played at guessing the name. Surprisingly the big girl bear was not, sadly, called Noreen, but never mind.

He was offering a free will service. I felt very sorry for him. At a baby show you might want to look at the latest travel system or play mats, or even buy a nursing bra, but wills? It's not what we want to be thinking of when we are expecting a baby.

But, having had the experiences we've had over the last few years, we decided that the time had come, and we decided to take up the offer of a free will. I went through the questions with the solicitor the other day on the phone, and tonight a nice lady came to get us to do the paperwork.

The questions you have to think of are hard ones. What would happen to Joseph if we both died? And to our assets if we were in a "wipe out scenario" (the solicitor's words). They are difficult things to have to consider, and not questions that you take lightly.

I've really agonised over this. The reality of our situation is that we are older parents, I am only just hanging onto my 30's and that ship has sailed for my husband. Our parents wouldn't be in the position to raise Joseph. Neither of our siblings live in the United Kingdom, so whatever happens, it would be a huge upheaval for Joseph, he would not lose his parents, but also his country of residence.

We have chosen that Joseph will live with my sister in law and her husband and children, should we both die, they live in Luxembourg. It's the best option but a sad one. Practically speaking its close to the UK, and also to Joseph's paternal grandparents who live in Germany.

We've also had to think of our funerals, which I thought was a much more jolly concept! Now you've all been warned, no black! And no flowers! Although if you want to pick a bunch from your own garden, I suppose that would be ok.

It's a fact of life that we don't know what is around the corner, and its something we don't often talk about. I am curious to know whether you have written a will? Any funeral requests? I'm really glad its done now and we don't need to revisit it again for a long time.


  1. We were about to do ours but as we're moving to a new home in two weeks we thought it better to wait until our 'assets' are better sorted. It's horrible to think about but I know from experience with my in-laws that should one of you die and the survivor re-marries, this can lead to all sorts of problems when there is no will in place. If both of you were to die then it's even more important to make sure your children are comfortable and cared for. Not nice to think about but necesary x

  2. Lots of food for thought there and thanks for sharing, thanks too for your thoughtful comments on my crying post, those times visiting your son must have been very difficult though am glad many offered you a hand. Joseph going up to that young lady and doing what he did really touched me and thank you for sharing it with me, what a lovely considerate person you have created :) Have a lovely weekend xxxx