Yesterday afternoon a new baby arrived into the world.
I have discovered, that despite having one of my own, writing a blog, working in support for parents of premature babies, that I am as clueless as the next person.
What to say, what to do, what to think. This dear baby was born at 25 weeks and 2 days. She is a girl, she has a beautiful name. She is loved. She weighs 1lb 9oz, just a smidge more than Joseph did.
The thing is, the reason I know her mum (and dad) is that this isn't the first time they have walked this path. They had triplets at 25 weeks around the same time Joseph turned one. 2 boys and a girl. The boys came home, the girl, very sadly, lost her fight after rallying hard.
None of my resources that I have at my disposal are really of much use. My friend knows what is around the corner, what the journey is like, and the complications that can arise a long the way. No need for a care package with Tommy's resources and the Small Wonders DVD, she could have written them both. And that, I think, makes it worse. Her hope and innocence are gone. And so is mine. I know all we can do is wait, and hope, and pray.
This time my friend got great care, regular FfN tests, a cervical stitch, brilliant monitoring. However, she had pregnancy loss in between. Her triplets early birth was put down to the "multiple factor" initally, but the loss of a baby at 16 weeks proved there was an issue, and a good plan was put in place. But still the baby has arrived. It makes me cross that we can't do better than watch and wait. She had two positive FfN results, but so have friends. And they have gone on to have near term babies.
Pre term birth is still such a mystery, and its just breaking all of our hearts, our big circle of premmie mums that are surrounding this family in love, prayers and positive thoughts. There are no easy answers. Monitoring is wonderful, interventions, however, are few. And contentious. No one really can predict how a pregnancy will go, and no one can stop a pre term birth with any degree of accuracy. Some can be stopped some can't.
However this much I know. Where there is life, there is hope. Where there is love, there is peace.
We pray, we hope, we love.
And we take each moment as it comes.
The family have given me permission to blog about them today.