Monday 16 January 2012

Breastfeeding in Public - What's All the Fuss About?

Ideally, I should be putting a picture of myself breastfeeding on this post! Joseph did breastfeed on a few occasions but I never got a picture of him doing so, which makes me sad. But, we never really fed in public. Or did we?

I've grown up around breastfeeding. My mother fed my sister, I remember my aunt feeding my youngest cousin Charles, and assume she fed the other three as well. Most of my friends breastfed. I am not sure of the figures but think its possibly more prevalent in Australia than here.

Expressing is a bit of a different ballgame, but it never bothered me expressing on the ward. This picture was taken in the dead of night, I'd gone down to see Joseph and express by the cotside, well, because I could! It made more sense than sitting in my room feeling miserable.

When I expressed I'd do it by his cotside with screens around me, or in the breastfeeding room if it was free, or shut away in the family room. I didn't really want people seeing my boobs being sucked in and out by a machine, its not particularly natural and its certainly not sexy.

But when it came to feeding, I was really shocked by our unit. We were expected to draw all the blinds, and put screens around, and there was a general expectation not to feed during visiting hours. I found it baffling. Surely in a maternity unit, you would expect to see babies feeding at the breast. Breastfeeding is initmate but is it private? Surely that's up to the mother.

I read this article today, posted by the lovely Mom in Israel. If you don't follow her, you really should, her own blog and the blogs and articles she links too are fascinating.

Now I am sure most breastfeeding women don't breastfeed like she is shown in the picture, but hey, more power to you if you do. But lets just say, if you feed like this in Tesco cafe you are possibly putting yourself in the line of fire. Most of us breastfeed discretely, certainly more discrete than I have seen some displays of affection in said cafe.

It saddens me in the 21st century we are even discussing this, that we need to see nurse ins in New York, Brighton or Debenhams. It's stupid. Personally, I lay the blame with the newspapers and magazines in this country have turned the boob into an object of desire, and not a functional feeding mechanism.

It's time to change.

18 comments:

  1. I'm not sure I agree with that article, to be honest. They weren't saying she couldn't breastfeed whilst other children in the group could have formula/snacks. They were saying that, for the group she attended, there was to be no eating during the group. Now, surely if she's allowed to breastfeed and everyone else is told they have to keep to 'no food' then it's discrimination the other way? I breastfed Skye - I fed her in cafes (discreetly), on benches, etc. I never had any negative comments - maybe I was lucky.

    I didn't, however, feed her into toddlerhood. However, if I had, I would still have respected the group's 'no food in the gym area' rule. I know they said that the younger babies were allowed to feed in the gym throughout their session, but with babies it is different. By toddlerhood they are able to understand 'No, not yet. After the group.' And if not - then go to the lobby if that's where other toddlers are expected to have their snacks.

    Sorry, I'm very much a breastfeeding supporter and hate to see injustice, however, I feel here she has picked a battle to fight which is unreasonable on her part. She wants special treatment BECAUSE she's still breastfeeding, and I'm not convinced that is reasonable.

    ReplyDelete
  2. What an interesting point, I didn't think of it that way at all. But having seen your point of view I am in two minds, and I guess it comes down to different parenting styles. If that mother has always fed on demand and that's just how she's done it, is it fair to make the toddler wait.... Or should she avoid such groups until the child has the maturity to understand? I'm not sure what the answer is, but to me the child drinking from the breast is different to say the child demainding to eat an apple on the gym floor.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I can see where you're coming from - I just think there's a huge difference between a baby feeding on demand, and a toddler. When Skye was younger I breastfed on demand. However, now I don't 'feed' her on demand - Yes, usually when she is hungry I will feed her, but not if it's 20 minutes before dinner time, for example, or if she's having a screaming paddy because she wants chocolate and I'm offering fruit, or if we're in the middle of something and I know she can wait the 20 minutes. I guess it's knowing your child.

    Thing is, she's not being asked to make the toddler wait till the end of the group - she's being asked to move to the lobby - where all children having a snack are asked to go. I guess I see a difference between a baby feeding from the breast and a toddler. I also see a toddler drinking from the breast as the same as a toddler drinking from a cup or having an apple. The child is still having a 'snack' and if the policy in the toddler's group is that snacks are taken in the lobby, then, to me, that applies to breastmilk, water, apple, chocolate or a 3 course meal!

    I have friends who run a music group and they stipulate 'no snacks' during the 40 minute session - even at the side of the room. The reason for this is that they used to allow it but as soon as one child went to have a banana or something at the side of the room, all the others stopped concentrating on what they were doing and focussed purely on the snacker - and requesting their own snacks. It kinda ruined the middle of the session! Children see it as very black and white and would start to say 'But Panther is having a snack, I want one too!' in my opinion.

    Isn't it really interesting how we see things very differently?!

    ReplyDelete
  4. I can see where you're coming from - I just think there's a huge difference between a baby feeding on demand, and a toddler. When Skye was younger I breastfed on demand. However, now I don't 'feed' her on demand - Yes, usually when she is hungry I will feed her, but not if it's 20 minutes before dinner time, for example, or if she's having a screaming paddy because she wants chocolate and I'm offering fruit, or if we're in the middle of something and I know she can wait the 20 minutes. I guess it's knowing your child.

    Thing is, she's not being asked to make the toddler wait till the end of the group - she's being asked to move to the lobby - where all children having a snack are asked to go. I guess I see a difference between a baby feeding from the breast and a toddler. I also see a toddler drinking from the breast as the same as a toddler drinking from a cup or having an apple. The child is still having a 'snack' and if the policy in the toddler's group is that snacks are taken in the lobby, then, to me, that applies to breastmilk, water, apple, chocolate or a 3 course meal!

    I have friends who run a music group and they stipulate 'no snacks' during the 40 minute session - even at the side of the room. The reason for this is that they used to allow it but as soon as one child went to have a banana or something at the side of the room, all the others stopped concentrating on what they were doing and focussed purely on the snacker - and requesting their own snacks. It kinda ruined the middle of the session! Children see it as very black and white and would start to say 'But Panther is having a snack, I want one too!' in my opinion.

    Isn't it really interesting how we see things very differently?!

    ReplyDelete
  5. I can see where you're coming from - I just think there's a huge difference between a baby feeding on demand, and a toddler. When Skye was younger I breastfed on demand. However, now I don't 'feed' her on demand - Yes, usually when she is hungry I will feed her, but not if it's 20 minutes before dinner time, for example, or if she's having a screaming paddy because she wants chocolate and I'm offering fruit, or if we're in the middle of something and I know she can wait the 20 minutes. I guess it's knowing your child.

    Thing is, she's not being asked to make the toddler wait till the end of the group - she's being asked to move to the lobby - where all children having a snack are asked to go. I guess I see a difference between a baby feeding from the breast and a toddler. I also see a toddler drinking from the breast as the same as a toddler drinking from a cup or having an apple. The child is still having a 'snack' and if the policy in the toddler's group is that snacks are taken in the lobby, then, to me, that applies to breastmilk, water, apple, chocolate or a 3 course meal!

    I have friends who run a music group and they stipulate 'no snacks' during the 40 minute session - even at the side of the room. The reason for this is that they used to allow it but as soon as one child went to have a banana or something at the side of the room, all the others stopped concentrating on what they were doing and focussed purely on the snacker - and requesting their own snacks. It kinda ruined the middle of the session! Children see it as very black and white and would start to say 'But Panther is having a snack, I want one too!' in my opinion.

    Isn't it really interesting how we see things very differently?!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Thank you so much for reading and your comment. I find it hard to know what I would do in that situation, I truly thought I'd be a BFing into toddlerhood mother, and think I would probably just continue to feed on demand. I felt really uncomfortable bottle feeding. I only had two people telling me I should have BFed, one was a sanctimonious person in a BFing group who whould have known better, the other was a nine year old!!!! I actually wanted to applaud the 9 year old even though it was tricky to explain!

    Well done you, it's never easy to go against the stronly entrenched flow, and your such an amazing mama. I noticed straight away the "Boob" in the title and thought "ha ha how awesome!"

    Thanks again for your thoughful comment x x x

    ReplyDelete
  7. I have mixed feelings on this. I didn't breastfeed because I couldn't (I was operated on after giving birth and was in intensive care). I grew up around breastfeeding but it was always done discreetly. Now, I am a discreet person anyway, so I actually don't like seeing boobage out in front of my face. My friends all did and some didn't care who saw, others had the scarf or covered up. I don't' know. I've actually never done it and I hope to breastfeed when we have another child, but I think I have that fear that everyone will be looking and I would rather it be private. I don't mind the nursing rooms, I'd feel more comfortable there. But its surprising that you had to put blinds down in a maternity unit??

    ReplyDelete
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