Today's blog dare topic is about why I do/do not watch the local news.
I used to be a current affairs junkie. When I lived in Australia I would watch 4 Corners, Sixty Minutes, the Sunday Show as well as local news programmes. I read at least 3 newspapers a day. I don't know why, just my natural curiosity. Whilst I enjoyed my diet of news, I was always suspicious, I knew that the "news" that we get, is the "news" they want you to see and to read, true independent journalism is hard to find.
My news diet stopped abruptly. 9/11. The day of 9/11 was tough, I worked for a bank in a call centre, on that same day one of Australia's national airlines went bust, and our bank had a partnership with them for rewards on a credit card. All day calls came flooding through, people worried they had lost their points. It was then I realised that people are basically insensitive, self seeking individuals, and it worried me. It was very much "me me me". Its not as if points are a right, they are a gift! You've used the credit, you pay the bills, the points are a bonus. People have died. The free world, as we know it, has been turned upside down, and your mithering about some points for free flights.
After 9/11 I stopped reading the papers or watching the news. What upset me most of all was the way in which Islam was being misrepresented, and then the US war-mongering started, it was all too much, so I opted out. I stopped the news entirely. I stopped buying papers, I stopped watching news programmes.
Now I do have half an eye on the news. I will watch our evening news, and occasionally read the news on line. I no longer buy a paper, or watch current affairs programmes, unless there is an issue I am particularly following.
The last thing I actively sought out on this topic was "The War You Don't See", by John Pilger, which reinforced my distrust of the news agencies and governments. Particularly abhorent is the practice of "embedding" journalists with the military. How can you possibly retain your independence and perspective is tied up with those who are protecting you? How can you be truly critical? How can you, Mr/Ms Journalist, tell me what's really going on if you are embedded? You can't.
Like him or loathe him, Julian Assange, who was interviewed for this programme, is turning modern journalism on its head. By giving a voice and an outlet to "leakers" to people who seek to tell us what is really going on, he is turning the world, governments and journalistic integrity on its head.
I'm not sure that I set out to write a blog in defence of Wikileaks, and to be honest, I only have a very broad overview of it and how it all works, but I do know, that now more than ever, with the number of sources we have of news and information, truth and integrity and more important than ever.
Sunday, 9 January 2011
Saturday, 8 January 2011
Happy is the Home...
Happy is the home with at least one cat - Italian Proverb.
I do apologise for the half-naked husband shot, I should have photoshopped a pyjama top on him!
Anyway the furrier thing in the middle is Atticus Woo. She's a girl (despite the boy's name).
When Joseph was due to come home, we asked if we should send Atticus to a new home. We were concerned about cat fur and exacerbating Joseph's chronic lung disease, as well as the more obvious worries most new parents have, about cats smothering the infant etc.
We need not have been concerned, Atticus is the perfect pet. She has never got into Joseph's bed, she has always reamined a respectful distance.
It was funny when we first brought Joseph home, in the picture above he'd gained at least 3 pounds and is beginning to look the same size as Atticus, but when we brought him home, Atticus positively dwarfed him. It was terrifying. Up until that point we had been confident with Joseph, his small size had become perfectly normal to us, but when Atticus came and looked at him, we both became a little less confident.
Atticus has always been the perfect mum to Joseph, even before he was born. When my pre eclampsia was worsening, but I hadn't been diagnosed, Atticus never left my side. When I went to bed the day before we went to hospital, she stayed with me the whole time, not letting me go into a deep sleep.
When I came home from hospital, without Joseph, Atticus was completely confused. She checked our walk in cupboards, the fridge, and even the oven, thinking I'd absent mindedly left him somewhere. She very much relaxed when he finally came home.
As Joseph has grown, Atticus and Joseph have become great playmates! She has never scratched him despite his rough play (the baby sign for gentle has very much helped) they chase each other around the living room (I am convinced Joseph's amazing climbing abilities are due to his desire to be near Atticus) and they play with toys together, its quite lovely.
I have always had cats as an adult, and whilst Atticus was very much my husband's cat, already ensconced when I moved in, she is a very important part of our every day life, and I can't imagine parenting Joseph without her help!
Anyway the furrier thing in the middle is Atticus Woo. She's a girl (despite the boy's name).
When Joseph was due to come home, we asked if we should send Atticus to a new home. We were concerned about cat fur and exacerbating Joseph's chronic lung disease, as well as the more obvious worries most new parents have, about cats smothering the infant etc.
We need not have been concerned, Atticus is the perfect pet. She has never got into Joseph's bed, she has always reamined a respectful distance.
It was funny when we first brought Joseph home, in the picture above he'd gained at least 3 pounds and is beginning to look the same size as Atticus, but when we brought him home, Atticus positively dwarfed him. It was terrifying. Up until that point we had been confident with Joseph, his small size had become perfectly normal to us, but when Atticus came and looked at him, we both became a little less confident.
Atticus has always been the perfect mum to Joseph, even before he was born. When my pre eclampsia was worsening, but I hadn't been diagnosed, Atticus never left my side. When I went to bed the day before we went to hospital, she stayed with me the whole time, not letting me go into a deep sleep.
When I came home from hospital, without Joseph, Atticus was completely confused. She checked our walk in cupboards, the fridge, and even the oven, thinking I'd absent mindedly left him somewhere. She very much relaxed when he finally came home.
As Joseph has grown, Atticus and Joseph have become great playmates! She has never scratched him despite his rough play (the baby sign for gentle has very much helped) they chase each other around the living room (I am convinced Joseph's amazing climbing abilities are due to his desire to be near Atticus) and they play with toys together, its quite lovely.
I have always had cats as an adult, and whilst Atticus was very much my husband's cat, already ensconced when I moved in, she is a very important part of our every day life, and I can't imagine parenting Joseph without her help!
Friday, 7 January 2011
My First Day in High School
The blog dare for today is as above, my first day in prison oops I mean high school.
I loathed high school. I loved learning, and I, for the most part, enjoyed primary school. When I started, my entire primary school had less than 100 children, my high school had something ridiculous like 1 000, although it has shrunk in recent years, only 700 pupils now.
I do remember being shown around on a taster day, and feeling so excited, it look huge, but exciting, brilliant facilities, amazing gym, art facilities, library, Mr Mukhwana was the librarian, the first African man I had ever met, he was inspiring, telling us about Kenya and about different books, and all the facilities in the library.
I was really looking forward to learning, discovering more, and excelling at school. The reality was different. When I went to my first “home group” I discovered I had lost a friend, Penny had gone to a different class. All the boys from primary school had been split up, and I was with girls, but no boys I knew. This was to prove significant, because I became a target for bullies. I had been bullied in primary school, which though hard, was, looking back, largely good natured. I was called “spaz” which at the time hurt like hell, however, was partly tongue in cheek, because I was near the top of the class, I just couldn’t run! Or catch a ball!
But in high school it all changed. The bullying was no longer good natured, it was nasty and spiteful. At first I cowered, and then I cried, which of course, made it 100 times worse. Then the bullying became more sexual in nature, which was horrid, and uncomfortable. I had no idea how to deal with it, so I retreated deeper into my fantasy world of conversations in my head. A world where I was popular, appreciated, and valued. I retreated into books, into music, and into the library, it was my refuge.
I listened to bands that sung of injustice, of politics, I eschewed the popular drivel of the day, and fell in love with Aussie Rock. Only later did I find out that many of my bullies loved the same music and perhaps that could have served as a bridge.
I don’t really recall my first day, but I remember the last. A boy I fancied, who shall remain nameless, came up to me and said “I really wish I could have told you sooner, but, you know...”, yes I may not have known the words then, but to like the geeky girl would have been social suicide. And he gave me a big cuddle, and a kiss. And had it happened a few months earlier I would have been thrilled, but right at that moment, it just felt a shallow gesture.
I remember all the girls crying, and the boys back patting, and saying “we’ll keep in touch, you know, things won’t change, we’ll still be mates”. And me thinking, thank God in Heaven that High School is over, I couldn’t leave fast enough, and onto the world of college. In Tasmania you leave High School at 15/16 and go on to either college or work. I couldn’t wait to go to college and hoped that there I might find myself and my strengths.
And I wasn’t disappointed.
Pre eclampsia Why Joseph came early
I've been thinking a lot about pre eclampsia recently. I've blogged about Joseph's early arrival at length, but there seems to be still so much confusion about pre eclampsia so how about some myth busting?
Pre eclampsia happens to fat people (I am a fat person!) - whilst raised BMI can indicate a pregnant woman may be at risk from pre eclampsia, lots of fat pregnant women don't get pre eclampsia. Many fit healthy women at a good BMI or even low BMI get pre eclampsia. Pre eclampsia can affect any pregnant woman
Pre eclampsia happens in the last weeks of pregnancy - Pre eclampsia can happen any time in the second or third trimester. Lots of women do get it at the end of the pregnancy, but many women, like me, get it earlier. Pre eclampsia can occur any time in the second or thrid trimester of pregnancy, and even after delivery.
Pre eclampsia just means you will have a premature baby - pre eclampsia affects the functioning of the placenta. The placenta stops working effectively, thus the baby is not receiving nutrients from the mother. If allowed to go on, or undetected, the maternal flow can reverse, the baby is giving up its nutrient supply to the mother. This is why babies born as a result of pre eclampsia pregnancies are usually small, they have had their growth restricted in the womb known as IUGR. Joseph was 300 grams lighter than he should have been. This situation in the womb can result in fetal death, or indeed, maternal death as the body becomes full of toxins. I don't want to scare anyone, but lets face the facts, pre eclampsia can be fatal, for the infant, for the mother, or for both of them.
Pre eclampsia can be treated - there is only one treatment for pre eclampsia and that is delivery of the baby, either by caesarean or by induction and natural delivery. Pre eclampsia can be temporarily treated with magnesium sulphate which appears to delay the onset of full blown eclampsia (fitting) but this is only done in order to facilitate safe delivery of the baby, that is to ensure they get steroids to mature their lungs, and to make sure everything is in place for their delivery and admission into NICU - the only definitive treatment for pre-eclampsia is to end the pregnancy by delivering the baby
Pre eclampsia can be prevented by a healthy diet - there is often speculation that because pre eclampsia causes the leeching of proteins into the body, that a high protein diet will prevent pre-eclampsia. There is no evidence that diet plays a factor in pre eclampsia prevention. Of course a healthy pregnancy diet is important, however - pre eclampsia can happen to any pregnant woman regardless of their diet or exercise regime
A diagnosis of pre eclampsia means bed rest - The only things I had ever read about pre eclampsia were in old pregnancy books, which basically spoke of 6 weeks bed rest. I was actually quite looking forward to a hospital admission for bed rest, meals cooked for me, tv in bed etc. These books are out of date, most of which were written before neo natal care is as good as it is now, and outcomes are improving all the time for premature babies. Pre eclampsia cannot be effectively treated by best rest, the only definitive treatment is delivery of the baby
Pre eclampsia happens to fat people (I am a fat person!) - whilst raised BMI can indicate a pregnant woman may be at risk from pre eclampsia, lots of fat pregnant women don't get pre eclampsia. Many fit healthy women at a good BMI or even low BMI get pre eclampsia. Pre eclampsia can affect any pregnant woman
Pre eclampsia happens in the last weeks of pregnancy - Pre eclampsia can happen any time in the second or third trimester. Lots of women do get it at the end of the pregnancy, but many women, like me, get it earlier. Pre eclampsia can occur any time in the second or thrid trimester of pregnancy, and even after delivery.
Pre eclampsia just means you will have a premature baby - pre eclampsia affects the functioning of the placenta. The placenta stops working effectively, thus the baby is not receiving nutrients from the mother. If allowed to go on, or undetected, the maternal flow can reverse, the baby is giving up its nutrient supply to the mother. This is why babies born as a result of pre eclampsia pregnancies are usually small, they have had their growth restricted in the womb known as IUGR. Joseph was 300 grams lighter than he should have been. This situation in the womb can result in fetal death, or indeed, maternal death as the body becomes full of toxins. I don't want to scare anyone, but lets face the facts, pre eclampsia can be fatal, for the infant, for the mother, or for both of them.
Pre eclampsia can be treated - there is only one treatment for pre eclampsia and that is delivery of the baby, either by caesarean or by induction and natural delivery. Pre eclampsia can be temporarily treated with magnesium sulphate which appears to delay the onset of full blown eclampsia (fitting) but this is only done in order to facilitate safe delivery of the baby, that is to ensure they get steroids to mature their lungs, and to make sure everything is in place for their delivery and admission into NICU - the only definitive treatment for pre-eclampsia is to end the pregnancy by delivering the baby
Pre eclampsia can be prevented by a healthy diet - there is often speculation that because pre eclampsia causes the leeching of proteins into the body, that a high protein diet will prevent pre-eclampsia. There is no evidence that diet plays a factor in pre eclampsia prevention. Of course a healthy pregnancy diet is important, however - pre eclampsia can happen to any pregnant woman regardless of their diet or exercise regime
A diagnosis of pre eclampsia means bed rest - The only things I had ever read about pre eclampsia were in old pregnancy books, which basically spoke of 6 weeks bed rest. I was actually quite looking forward to a hospital admission for bed rest, meals cooked for me, tv in bed etc. These books are out of date, most of which were written before neo natal care is as good as it is now, and outcomes are improving all the time for premature babies. Pre eclampsia cannot be effectively treated by best rest, the only definitive treatment is delivery of the baby
Thursday, 6 January 2011
Up the Duff!
Today's Blog dare is good one, the day I found out I was pregnant!
It was a cold, wet day, late in November. I'd had carpal tunnel syndrome for over six months, and was really struggling with it, I'd had tried conservative management which had worked well, but it was getting to the stage that working with it was really hard, so I'd decided to have surgery.
That day I'd been to the hospital for an EMG test on my wrists, and had seen the lovely surgeon and we fixed a date. On the way home I decided to pop in the chemists to get a pregnancy test.
When we got married, we decided not to "try" to have a baby, but not to stop it either. Neither of us held out much hope of falling pregnant, due to previous problems.
I didn't "feel" pregnant, hadn't had any sickness or felt particularly different, I just wanted to be sure, before I underwent surgery, that I wasn't pregnant. I came home, and my husband was already there. Just before tea I popped into the loo and did my thing on the stick. I'd bought a fancy test, a Clearblue digitial. It shows the words and an estimate of how many weeks.
I peed, and then tidied up a bit went and looked at the stick. "Pregnant 2-3 weeks".
I could not believe it, I rushed out to hubby, we both cried, and we grinned from ear to ear.
As for the carpal tunnel I had a phone conversation with the surgeon, who said it would probably improve during the first and second trimester but get significantly worse in the third trimester, and he would send me to his physiotherapist once it got too hard to manage.
Of course I missed that bit, and my carpal tunnel has never returned!
It was a cold, wet day, late in November. I'd had carpal tunnel syndrome for over six months, and was really struggling with it, I'd had tried conservative management which had worked well, but it was getting to the stage that working with it was really hard, so I'd decided to have surgery.
That day I'd been to the hospital for an EMG test on my wrists, and had seen the lovely surgeon and we fixed a date. On the way home I decided to pop in the chemists to get a pregnancy test.
When we got married, we decided not to "try" to have a baby, but not to stop it either. Neither of us held out much hope of falling pregnant, due to previous problems.
I didn't "feel" pregnant, hadn't had any sickness or felt particularly different, I just wanted to be sure, before I underwent surgery, that I wasn't pregnant. I came home, and my husband was already there. Just before tea I popped into the loo and did my thing on the stick. I'd bought a fancy test, a Clearblue digitial. It shows the words and an estimate of how many weeks.
I peed, and then tidied up a bit went and looked at the stick. "Pregnant 2-3 weeks".
I could not believe it, I rushed out to hubby, we both cried, and we grinned from ear to ear.
As for the carpal tunnel I had a phone conversation with the surgeon, who said it would probably improve during the first and second trimester but get significantly worse in the third trimester, and he would send me to his physiotherapist once it got too hard to manage.
Of course I missed that bit, and my carpal tunnel has never returned!
Wednesday, 5 January 2011
Why I created this blog
It's day 5 of the blog dare, as it turns out, people aren't following the prompts every day, the dare was just to blog every day for a year. I've ended up blogging a couple of times a day to accommodate the dare and whatever else I want to write about! But today's dare is working for me, so I will keep up the daily challenges for now!
When Joseph was in special care, I looked for blogs about premature babies, and I found loads, mainly ones started whilst the baby was in hospital to keep the extended family and friends up to date, and to chart the babies progress. I knew I couldn't do that, I didn't have time for blogging, I was flat out keeping up as it is. I also knew I wasn't in the right headspace, it was all a confusing blur and I didn't feel I could write cohesively about what was going on, and how Joseph was doing.
In the six months after Joseph came home, I became a mess. I was an incredibly difficult person to be around, although everyone was very kind to me and no one said as much, but I felt difficult! I cried.....all the time. I was bitter. I could only dwell on what had happened, I had no empathy for others anymore, which is so not like me. I was angry. How could this have happened to me? And I was full of blame.
Once I started on my wonder drug (oh how I love thee citalopram!) I started to feel better slowly but it was a long time before I got my perspective and empathy back. When I started this blog in February 2010 it was purely as a catharsis, however, once I wrote my second post about Post Traumatic Stress Disorder I knew that my blog could be more than just me regurgitating my experiences, and that other mums could be supported and helped through my blog, and starting their own.
I hope in 2011 that I can raise the bar, and become more widely read, and perhaps start working with sponsors to raise the profile of babies born prematurely, mum's who have had traumatic birth experiences, and just general parenting issues especially parenting sustainably (cloth nappies etc)
I love to blog, and I really want to get better at it, that's my challenge.
When Joseph was in special care, I looked for blogs about premature babies, and I found loads, mainly ones started whilst the baby was in hospital to keep the extended family and friends up to date, and to chart the babies progress. I knew I couldn't do that, I didn't have time for blogging, I was flat out keeping up as it is. I also knew I wasn't in the right headspace, it was all a confusing blur and I didn't feel I could write cohesively about what was going on, and how Joseph was doing.
In the six months after Joseph came home, I became a mess. I was an incredibly difficult person to be around, although everyone was very kind to me and no one said as much, but I felt difficult! I cried.....all the time. I was bitter. I could only dwell on what had happened, I had no empathy for others anymore, which is so not like me. I was angry. How could this have happened to me? And I was full of blame.
Once I started on my wonder drug (oh how I love thee citalopram!) I started to feel better slowly but it was a long time before I got my perspective and empathy back. When I started this blog in February 2010 it was purely as a catharsis, however, once I wrote my second post about Post Traumatic Stress Disorder I knew that my blog could be more than just me regurgitating my experiences, and that other mums could be supported and helped through my blog, and starting their own.
I hope in 2011 that I can raise the bar, and become more widely read, and perhaps start working with sponsors to raise the profile of babies born prematurely, mum's who have had traumatic birth experiences, and just general parenting issues especially parenting sustainably (cloth nappies etc)
I love to blog, and I really want to get better at it, that's my challenge.
Tuesday, 4 January 2011
The Archers #SATTC*
My husband loves the Archers, its an incredibly long running radio drama on BBC Radio 4. 60 years! It's set in the country in Ambridge, a fictional village somewhere. I don't really understand it myself, having only heard snatches when held captive in the car, or washing up on a Sunday morning.
This week the Archers had a dramatic story line, someone fell off a roof and died, and another character, Helen, pregnant with her IVF baby, got rushed to hospital. She had swollen ankles, a headache, was seeing spots. Helen had developed pre eclampsia. What is concerning is that Helen is 7 months along in her pregnancy and had never heard of pre eclampsia. The baby has to be delivered 6 weeks early.
In the UK we are screened from the outset for pre eclampsia. At each appointment it is explained what the signs are, and what to look for. In this episode its a locum midwife who diagnoses her, and sends Helen straight to hospital, completely ruining a family party! Social suicide in Ambridge!
Her delivery was so quick! Whisked into theatre, and the little boy was whipped out and taken to the special care baby unit, and her family all go back home and crack open the champagne. Helen gets to go straight to the special care baby unit, no bed rest, what about the risk of Eclampsia post delivery? I guess you can't really do magnesium sulphate infusions, and 15 minute monitoring on radio, but the little boy, Henry didn't even get his steroids.
If I could have a Helen delivery, I'd have another baby, develop pre eclampsia at a party, go to hospital, have the baby delivered, and half an hour later, sit in special care holding my recently delivered baby born at 34 weeks! Grandad could even hold said baby on the day of delivery!
I think its great that the BBC has had this story line, but is it really too much to ask that integrity be preserved in these story lines. And don't even get me started on Eastenders ridiculous story line around Sudden Infant Death Syndrome.
Auntie Beeb we do expect better. We dutifully pay our tv licence, and we expect honesty, integrity and compassion for those of us who have really lived these stories.
*SATTC - Twitter tagline for Shocking Ambridge to the Core
This week the Archers had a dramatic story line, someone fell off a roof and died, and another character, Helen, pregnant with her IVF baby, got rushed to hospital. She had swollen ankles, a headache, was seeing spots. Helen had developed pre eclampsia. What is concerning is that Helen is 7 months along in her pregnancy and had never heard of pre eclampsia. The baby has to be delivered 6 weeks early.
In the UK we are screened from the outset for pre eclampsia. At each appointment it is explained what the signs are, and what to look for. In this episode its a locum midwife who diagnoses her, and sends Helen straight to hospital, completely ruining a family party! Social suicide in Ambridge!
Her delivery was so quick! Whisked into theatre, and the little boy was whipped out and taken to the special care baby unit, and her family all go back home and crack open the champagne. Helen gets to go straight to the special care baby unit, no bed rest, what about the risk of Eclampsia post delivery? I guess you can't really do magnesium sulphate infusions, and 15 minute monitoring on radio, but the little boy, Henry didn't even get his steroids.
If I could have a Helen delivery, I'd have another baby, develop pre eclampsia at a party, go to hospital, have the baby delivered, and half an hour later, sit in special care holding my recently delivered baby born at 34 weeks! Grandad could even hold said baby on the day of delivery!
I think its great that the BBC has had this story line, but is it really too much to ask that integrity be preserved in these story lines. And don't even get me started on Eastenders ridiculous story line around Sudden Infant Death Syndrome.
Auntie Beeb we do expect better. We dutifully pay our tv licence, and we expect honesty, integrity and compassion for those of us who have really lived these stories.
*SATTC - Twitter tagline for Shocking Ambridge to the Core
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